Naruto: Behind The Scenes
by MidnightSakuraBlossom and SYD
Summary: Naruto goes around the set of Naruto and Naruto Shippuden interviewing the cast and showing a few secrets along the way and brodcasting it via a camera. What will happen? And is anything what it seems? DISCONTINUED
1. Interviewing Sakura And Neji

Author's Note: I've been working on this story for a few days now. It's mainly about Naruto going behind the scenes of Naruto and Naruto Shippuden, interviewing the cast and showing a few 'bloopers' along the way. (I'm literally praying at this point that it won't get deleted for 'going against the rules'!) There's possible OOC moments too. Oh, and Naruto is talking to a camera that's following him.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. But I do own a bunch of Naruto manga, games, DVDs, ect ect...

* * *

Naruto: Behind The Scenes:

Chapter One...

"Is this thing on?" Naruto asked himself as he tapped the camera in front of him repeatedly.

"Naruto, it's on! Just start talking!" The camera man said.

Naruto smiled.

"Great. Hi! I'm Naruto Uzumaki! And we coughby'we'I meanyouthecameracough are on the set of Naruto Shippuden!" Naruto introduced.

Then Naruto smirked.

"And as you know, I play the cool, strong, handsome, amazing, wonderful, smart, main character!" Naruto said.

The camera man sighed.

"Anyway, let's take a peek into the other not so important character's dressing rooms!" Naruto said as he walked with the camera man following him with the camera.

Naruto then walked to a outside trailer-like outside dressing room that said 'Sakura' on the door.

"This is Sakura's trailer dressing room. Let's see if we can get here to come out!" Naruto said as he smiled at the camera and knocked on the door.

Then the door opened and Sakura stepped out with her hair in a shower cap, and wearing a long fuzzy bathrobe.

"Naruto, what do you want?! I'm busy getting ready for the new episode. And what the heck is with that camera?! Turn it off!" Sakura said.

Naruto laughed.

"Haha! Not a chance! I'm showing the viewers, via this camera, the set of the show! And interview the cast!" Naruto explained as he laughed.

Sakura scowled at the camera.

"I don't care! TURN IT OFF!" Sakura shouted.

The camera man sweat dropped as Sakura charged at the camera.

* * *

**Please Stand By...**

Kakashi was sitting on a stool.

"Hello, I'm Kakashi Hatake, and I like to read." Kakashi said.

Kakashi then pulled out his book and read a total of thirty nine pages.

* * *

**One hour of buying a new camera and film later...**

Naruto looked nervously into the new camera as Sakura used some medical ninjustu on the camera man after she destroyed the camera and him.

"Ow...ow...ouch..." The camera man said as he rubbed his shoulder.

Sakura frowned.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!" Sakura said.

Naruto sighed as he looked into the new camera.

"And...that's what happens when you upset Sakura..." Naruto said as he glanced over at the beaten up camera man.

* * *

**Please Stand By...**

Zetsu was in the middle of painting his fingernails black.

"Hey, my name is Zetsu, and I'm part of the Akatsuki." Zetsu greeted blandly.

Then he painted his fingernails for a very long time.

* * *

**Ten minutes of medical jutsu later...**

Sakura had finished healing the camera man, and he was back behind the camera as Naruto interviewed Sakura.

"So...Sakura, what do you like in a guy?" Naruto asked curiously.

Sakura rose an eyebrow.

"That isn't part of the interview is it?" Sakura asked as she turned to the camera.

The camera man turned the camera side ways as if it was nodding no.

Sakura sighed.

"I'm not gonna answer that." Sakura bluntly said.

Naruto's face fell.

"Okay...hey! Let's take a look at some of your bloopers!" Naruto said as he immediately changed from down to excited.

Sakura blushed slightly.

"N-no! W-we really don't need to see those!" Sakura said.

Naruto smirked.

"Yeah we do! Role the bloopers!" Naruto ordered.

Then the camera man nodded and rolled them.

* * *

**#1, Sakura's Attempt To Stop Sasuke From Leaving...**

Sasuke stood some distance ahead of Sakura.

Sakura was in tears.

"PLEASE STAY! I'M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU!!" Sakura screamed.

Sasuke ignored that.

"If you leave, I'll s-EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!" Sakura shouted as she tripped after running up to Sasuke.

"Ouch...ow..my face..." Sakura moaned as her head scraped across the concrete

Sasuke turned around and started snickering.

"Haha!!!! Haha!!! She...she...she tripped!!!" Sasuke said as he was now laughing his head off.

Sakura scowled at Sasuke.

"'I love you', yeah right!" Sakura said as she growled and stood up.

Then all the Naruto cast started laughing.

* * *

**#2, Sakura Removes The Poison From Kankuro...**

"This may stink, but-" Sakura said as she dipped her hands into the gooey antidote.

Then Temari started snickering.

"Haha!!! Haha!!!" Temari laughed as she banged her fist against the wall.

Sakura blushed slightly.

"Um...it's 'sting' not 'stink'..." One of the Sand's medical ninja corrected.

Sakura frowned.

"Uh...okay...anyway, now let's remove the poison..." Sakura said as she took the antidote bubble and put into Kankuro.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? THAT STINGS!!!" Kankuro shouted as he sat up.

Temari scowled.

"You idiot! Your supposed to be out cold!" Temari said.

Sakura looked concerned.

"Hurry! Fold him down!" Sakura ordered.

Then Lady Chiyo randomly popped up.

"Hehe...you said 'fold' instead of 'hold'!" She said as she chuckled.

Sakura grabbed her hair in frustration as she growled.

* * *

**#3, Sakura And Ino's Race To The Academy...**

"I'm a ninja now, I'm not that childish anymore, Ino." Sakura said as she walked ahead of Ino.

Ino looked shocked and then sped up past Sakura.

Sakura just sped up faster as did Ino. And they were both neck and neck running to the academy.

Later In The Academy...

"Isn't this ninja forehead protector super cool?! It looks good on me, right?!" Naruto asked Shikamaru.

Then Sakura and Ino were both neck and neck as they squeezed through the screen.

"Ugh...ugh...ugh..." They both said.

Then they both made it through the screen ay the same time.

"Made it!" They both shouted at the same time.

But at that moment, Sakura accidentally fell.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!" Sakura shouted as she lost her balance and fell.

Naruto was wide eyed.

"Noooo! Sakura died!" Naruto shouted.

Sakura scowled and raised her head up.

"I'm not dead, you idiot!" Sakura said.

Ino then started laughing her head off.

* * *

**As soon as they were over...**

Naruto and the camera man were laughing.

Sakura was scowling.

"Haha!!! Oh man!!! Those were hilarious!" Naruto said as wiped a tear from his eye.

Sakura's face then turned red with anger as anime fire burned in her eyes.

"TAKE THIS!!!" Sakura shouted as she charged at Naruto to punch him.

* * *

**Please Stand By...**

Matsuri smiled.

"Hello! I'm Matsuri, and I'm in love with Gaara!" Matsuri said.

Then Matsuri grabbed Gaara's arm and pulled him close to her.

"That's right! He's all mine! Jealous, aren't you?!" Matsuri asked.

Gaara looked horrified.

"Someone call the cops!" Gaara shouted as Matsuri leaned in to kiss him.

* * *

**One punch, and a lot of band aids later...**

Naruto held a ice pack to his cheek as he walked on a cane.

"Okay...now we're gonna interview Neji!" Naruto said as he stumbled over to Neji's trailer.

Naruto knocked on the door with his elbow, and then smiled into the camera as Neji opened the door and stepped out.

Neji stepped out with his hair all messed up, and wearing a torn and shredded tuxedo.

Naruto gasped and his injuries suddenly healed anime style.

"Neji?! What happened to you?" Naruto asked.

Neji ignored that question and glanced over at the camera.

"Hey, why is there a camera here?" Neji asked.

Naruto shook his head.

"I'm showing people the set of Naruto and interviewing the characters!" Naruto explained.

Neji glanced over at the camera again.

"Anyway, tell us some things about you!" Naruto said as he smiled into the camera.

Neji sighed.

"Okay, well I am Neji Hyuuga, born into the Hyuuga's side household apart from the main branch..." Neji began.

Naruto looked uneasily into the camera.

"...So I have a mark on my forehead, signaling that I am nothing more then a caged bird, my father Hizashi Hyuuga was also..." Neji continued.

Naruto yawned and looked at his watch.

* * *

**Please Stand By...**

Rock Lee was smiling.

"Hello! My name is Rock Lee, and I love to train!" Rock Lee said as he started training.

Rock Lee was practicing his taijutsu by kicking a tree.

Then Gaara ran up on the scene

Lee stopped training and gasped when he saw Gaara.

Gaara's face was covered in lipstick marks as he scowled.

"What happened to you?" Lee asked.

"Matsuri! She's an animal!" Gaara said.

Then Matsuri ran up.

"Gaara! Why'd you ran away?" Matsuri asked as she ran up.

Then Gaara went wide eyed as Matsuri ran up and kissed him again.

* * *

**One hour of unnecessary talking later...**

Naruto was asleep against Neji's trailer door drooling as Neji continued to talk.

"So then we fought. And afterwards, I learned not to-" Neji said but was cut off by the camera man.

"Er...we only have one hour of film left..." The camera man said.

Naruto then woke up.

"ONE HOUR!? Neji! I told you to answer questions, to tell your LIFE STORY!" Naruto yelled.

Neji sighed.  
"Your right, I got carried away..." Neji said.

Then Naruto smirked.

"Hey! Why don't we make the most of this moment and show all the people watching us via the camera, and show some of your bloopers?" Naruto suggested.

Neji's eyes went wide.

"B-but Naruto! Those bloopers are real humiliating!" Neji said as he felt his face become very hot.

Naruto smirked.

"That's your punishment for talking! Roll em!" Naruto ordered.

The camera man nodded and rolled them.

* * *

**#1, What's Your Name?...**

Neji and Tenten walked up to Sasuke.

"Hey you, what's your name?" Neji asked.

Naruto growled with fire in his eyes.

"(UGH!!!! Sasuke's name was asked, AGAIN!!!!)" Naruto thought.

Sasuke stared blankly at Neji.

"It's common courtesy to speak your own name rather then asking for a name." Sasuke said.

Neji scowled.

"What?" Neji asked offended.

Tenten smiled and giggled.

"Hehe...he's cute!" Tenten said as she blushed.

Neji scowled at Tenten.

"He's cute?! What about me, Tenten?! I've been head over heels in love with you for the past few years and you go off and do this!" Neji yelled.

Tenten, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Lee went wide eyed.

Neji realized what he said and quickly put his hands over his mouth as his eyes grew wide and a nice red blush stained his face.

Then Naruto started laughing.

* * *

**#2, Neji Puts The Radio In His Ear...**

Might Guy handed Lee, Neji, and Tenten different radios to put in their ear so they can communicate.

"Alright, now put these in." Guy said.

Naruto went wide eyed.

"Cool!" Naruto commented.

Then Lee, Tenten, and Guy had put their radios in their ears but Neji was having trouble.

"Stay in! Why won't you stay in?!" Neji muttered as he repeatedly put the radio in his ear which fell out.

Lee sighed.

"Um...Neji? Do you need some help?" Lee asked.

Neji continued to put the radio in his ear which continued to fall out.

"No. I think I can handle a radio, Lee." Neji said as he struggled to put the radio in.

Then Lee, Tenten, and Guy all sighed as Neji continued to put the radio in his ear.

* * *

**#3, Neji Catches Tenten...**

Kisame had Lee, Neji, and Tenten trapped in water. They were able to break through but Tenten fell.

"Neji! Catch her!" Lee shouted.

And then as Neji dove to catch Tenten, he slipped and fell right on his face, and Tenten did a back flip over to a rock.

"I made it! Neji? Are you okay?" Tenten asked.

Neji sat up and spit water out of his mouth.

Lee then started laughing at the way Neji looked.

Neji was soaked with water, and his hair was all in his face.

"Haha!!!! Haaaaaha!!!! That was....haha.!!!" Lee said as he started laughing.

Tenten started giggling too.

Neji glared at the two as he blushed bright red in embarrassment.

* * *

**As soon as they were over...**

Naruto and the camera man were literally rolling on the ground laughing.

Neji sighed and put his had in his hands as he blushed bright red in embarrassment.  
"I hope your happy, now." Neji said.

Naruto and the camera man stopped laughing and stood up.

"Yes, yes I am! Those were so hilarious! Especially the last one!" Naruto said as he laughed.

Neji glared.

Naruto then smiled into the camera as the camera man went back behind the camera.

"Well, we're almost out of film, but as soon as we get more film, I'll bring you much more surprises behind the scenes of Naruto!" Naruto said.

Then the camera turned off from lack of film.

Continued.

* * *

Whew! That took a while to finish tweaking! I hope it was good and funny. But this is only the first chapter. I'm not entirely sure how long this story will be. But it will be kinda long. And before you freak out, this is NOT an interactive story. I'll try to update in a few days. I'll update even quicker if I get reviews! ;)

Read and review!


	2. Bloopers, Interviews, And Moonwalking!

Author's Note: I figured, why not add the next chapter a little sooner then expected? I'm sorry if this chapter is possibly shorter or longer then the first. And there's possible OOC moments as well...

* * *

Naruto: Behind The Scenes:

Chapter Two...

"Hello! We've added more film, and are ready to continue this special behind the scenes look at the show, via this camera!" Naruto said into the camera as he waved.

Then Naruto and the camera man (with the camera, of course!), walked over to a building.

"We are currently on the set of the Hidden Leaf Village! And now we're gonna-" Naruto said but was cut off by Ino's voice.

"Naruto! What's going on, here?" Ino asked as she walked up.

Naruto smiled.

"Hey, Ino. I'm showing a behind the scenes look of the show with this camera. Wanna say something to the viewers?" Naruto asked as he moved out of the way.

Ino rose an eyebrow and then she smirked and stood in front of the camera.

"Hellooooo! I'm Ino Yamanaka! The beautiful heroine of this show!" Ino said as she swished her hair around and winked.

Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"Ino...I'm the main character. You can't over shadow me!" Naruto said.

Ino scowled.

"Who's over shadowing who? Sakura's pretty much always in the spotlight! I never get a chance to shine!" Ino complained as she put her hands on her hips.

Naruto scowled.

"Well I can't help that! Go complain to Masashi Kishimoto about that!" Naruto said.

Ino smirked.

"Not a bad idea!" Ino said as she walked off.

Then Naruto smirked evilly as he walked over and grabbed Ino's arm.

"Hey Ino, let's show some of your bloopers from various episodes!" Naruto said.

Ino's eyes widened.

"Do we have to? I mean...w-who wants to see that?" Ino asked.

Naruto smirked as he looked into the camera.

"I do! Roll em!" Naruto ordered.

The camera man nodded and rolled them.

* * *

**#1, Ino And Shikamaru Behind The Bush In The Chunin Exams Watching The Sound Ninja Attack Sakura...**

Ino and Shikamaru watched helplessly as Kin grabbed Sakura by her hair.

"So what do you want to do, Ino?" Shikamaru asked.

Ino looked at him and scowled.

"Why do you keep asking me out?!" Ino asked.

Shikamaru looked confused.

"Ask you out?! When did I ever do that?!" Shikamru asked as he stood up.

Ino looked shocked as she stood up.

"Ugh! I messed up my lines!" Ino said in frustration.

Shikamaru sighed.

"So what do we do?" Shikamaru asked.

Ino scowled.

"Let's just w-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!" Ino shouted as she tripped.

Shikamaru watched as Ino fell into a mud puddle.

Ino scowled and spit the mud out of her mouth.

Shikamaru started laughing.

"Haha!!! Haaaha!!!! Y-you fell into mud!!! I can't stand it!!!" Shikamaru said as he laughed.

Then Shikamaru got down on the ground and literally laughed himself to death.

* * *

**#2, Mind Destruction Jutsu Gone Wrong...**

Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji stood in front of the two dumb brothers that eat a lot. (I forgot their names. T_T)

"Looks like we'll have to teach these guys a lesson!" Ino said.

Shikamaru looked confused.

"Ino, if you use your Mind Transfer Jutsu, it may not work." Shikamaru warned.

Ino smirked as she held out her hands in a symbol.

"Please! I got a new technique up my silky sleeve!" Ino said.

Choji sighed.

"Those weren't the lines..." Chouji said.

Ino glared at Chouji.

"Who cares?! Now watch this!" Ino said.

Ino got into the position.

"MIND DESTRUCTION JUTSU!" Ino shouted.

The two brothers looked at Ino confused.

Shikamaru and Chouji rose an eyebrow.

Ino frowned.

"It didn't work? Let's try again! MIND DESTRUCTION JUTSU!!" Ino shouted again.

Ino ended up trying to use the jutsu four times.

Shikamaru sighed and got in front of Ino.

"Maybe I should do this-" Shikamaru said but was cut off by Ino.

"NO!!! I will do this!" Ino said.

The two brothers yawned and looked at their watches.

Ino then concentrated again.

"MIND DESTRUCTION.....JUTSUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!" Ino screamed at the top of her lungs as she did the hand symbol.

It worked, but Shikamaru was in front of her so it was cast on him instead.

From off the set, the camera lady started snickering at the mistake.

* * *

**After they were over...**

Naruto and the camera man were laughing and Ino was scowling.

"UGH!!!! How dare you show that!!!" Ino shouted.

Naruto then smirked as he looked into the camera.

"Now, we're gonna run away from Ino for our lives. AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Naruto shouted as he ran off with the camera man.

Then Ino scowled and chased after them.

* * *

**Please Stand By...**

Itachi was reading the newspaper against a pole.

Itachi glanced up at the camera.

"Hmm? Oh, hey there. My name's Itachi Uchiha and...I'm a cold hearted murderer." Itachi said as he went back to reading.

* * *

**Twenty minutes of running later...**

Naruto and the camera man survived Ino's rampage and were outside Gaara's trailer.

Naruto smiled as he walked up to the door.

"Here we are outside Gaara's trailer. Let's go inside and get a look around..." Naruto said as he opened the door.

Then the camera man followed Naruto inside with the camera.

* * *

**Please Stand By...**

Orochimaru and Kabuto were both standing in front of a camera.

"Hey, I'm Orochimaru. And...I'm a wanted criminal and a Michael Jackson wannabe." Orochimaru said as he grabbed Sasuke by the ear and pulled him close.

Kabuto rose an eyebrow and his face turned green.

"Eh...r-really, Lord Orochimaru?" Kabuto asked as he was slowly losing his balance.

Orochimaru scowled.

"That's personal." Orochimaru said.

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Please! He can't even moonwalk!" Sasuke said.

Orochimaru rose an eyebrow.

"Really? You don't think I can? Watch and learn!" Orochimaru said as he threw Sasuke aside.

Then a random spotlight shined on Orochimaru and he did a perfect moonwalk.

Kabuto, Sasuke, Tsunade, and Jiraiya were wide eyed as their jaws dropped.

* * *

**A few moments later...**

Naruto and the camera man were inside Gaara's trailer poking around at stuff.

"Hey look at this! A bottle of red hair dye!" Naruto said to the camera as he held up a bottle of red hair dye.

The camera man snickered.

"Let the record show that Gaara dyes his hair red via the camera!" Naruto said.

Then after poking around a few more seconds, Naruto walked up to a door.

"This looks like a bathroom! Let's check it out..." Naruto said as he opened the door slightly and walked in.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Gaara's voice screamed.

"OMIGOSH!!! MY EYES!!!! HORRIBLE!!!" Naruto's voice screamed.

The camera man tilted his head as Naruto quickly ran out of the bathroom slamming the door shut behind him breathing very fast.

"You...you...you don't wanna see that!" Naruto said to the camera as he held his heart and started panting.

The camera man rose an eyebrow.

"What's wrong?" The camera man asked.

Naruto stopped breathing heavily and had a scarred look on his face.

Then Gaara exited the bathroom wearing only a bathrobe, and his hair was dripping wet.

"You step out of the shower and someone just barges in!" Gaara said.

Naruto started waving his hands around.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know you were just stepping out of the shower!" Naruto said as he sweat dropped.

The camera man sweat dropped.

"Anyway...what are you doing here, and what's with the camera?" Gaara asked.

Naruto calmed down and forced a smile at the camera.

"Uh...I-I was giving people a special behind the scenes look of the show via this camera. And uh...show people stuff they don't see on screen and stuff!" Naruto said nervously.

Gaara crossed his arms.

"Was part of that me in the shower?" Gaara asked.

Naruto then started waving his hands back and forth.

"No! Of course not, Gaara! Although the show would sky rocket with female viewers..." Naruto said but mumbled the last part as he smirked.

Gaara un-crossed his arms and tilted his head.

"So...what now?" Gaara asked.

Naruto thought for a minute.

"Hmm...you could tell us what your dream was when you were a little kid!" Naruto said.

Gaara smirked.

"Okay, um...my dream was to be a singer." Gaara said.

Naruto and the camera man's jaws dropped.

"S-S-SINGER?! YOU, A SINGER?!" They both asked.

Gaara looked confused.

"What's wrong with that?" Gaara asked.

* * *

**Please Stand By...**

Temari was polishing her fan by the fireplace.

"Hello. I'm Temari. I have two little brothers, and a fan for a weapon." Temari said to the camera.

Then Temari stood up and showed off her fan.

"Look at that shine! Aren't you jealous?" Temari asked the camera as she smirked.

Then the person behind the camera made the camera nod yes.

Temari giggled.

* * *

**Ten minutes of recovering from shock later...**

Naruto and the camera man recovered from shock. And Naruto and Gaara were standing in front of the camera while the camera guy was behind it.

"So...to wrap up this interview my friend, tell us your favorite moment in Naruto Shippuden." Naruto said to Gaara.

Gaara thought for a minute and then had a small smile on his lips.

"Okay. My favorite moment, was when you and me shook hands before departing." Gaara said.

Naruto smiled and punched Gaara's arm playfully.

"That was my favorite too..." Naruto said as he smiled.

The camera man smiled at that friendship moment.

Then Naruto smirked.

"Well, now that we're doing interviewing...let's see some Gaara's bloopers from various episodes of the show!" Naruto said as he snickered slightly.

Gaara gasped and then went wide eyed.

"Naruto, do we have to? Those bloopers were very embarrassing!" Gaara said.

Naruto chuckled.

"That's what makes it funny! Roll the bloopers, camera guy!" Naruto ordered.

The camera man nodded and rolled them.

* * *

**#1, Gaara's Speech...**

Gaara and Kankuro stood atop a hill as the sun was setting.

"Gaara, let it go." Kankuro said.

Gaara didn't respond.

Kankuro frowned.  
"I didn't wanna have to say this, but you know the way they see you. Your a weapon of terror. And the villagers, they're as terrified of you as they've ever been." Kankuro said.

"...I know that." Gaara finally said.

Kankuro looked shocked.

"All these years of doing...er...nothing...will um...bring greater...er..greater..." Gaara said as he stuttered.

Kankuro rose an eyebrow.

Gaara then turned around.

"What's my lines?" Gaara whispered.

Kankuro sighed and threw his hands in the air.

"I dunno! Wing it!" Kankuro whispered back.

Gaara then turned back around facing the sunset.

"Uh...um...greater life? With...something about Naruto...um..." Gaara said as he put his hand on his forehead trying to remember his lines.

Kankuro then started snickering.

"Wait! It's...doing nothing brings certain pain...unto death with a will...um..." Gaara said.

Kankuro was now on the ground laughing.

Gaara blushed slightly in embarrassment and clenched his hands into fists.

"No! It's uh...doing nothing will bring hard work...and uh...pain with the weapon..." Gaara said as the blush spread all over his face rapidly.

Kankuro was now laughing himself to death as Gaara grabbed the script and attempted to get back what dignity he lost while forgetting the lines.

* * *

**#2, Gaara Feels Pain For The First Time Ever...**

Everybody was in stands watching the most anticipated chunin exams fight between Gaara and Sasuke.

Gaara had encased himself in a giant ball of sand. And Sasuke was getting ready to unleash his new jutsu.

"Time to unleash my new jutsu..." Sasuke said seemingly to nobody.

Sasuke then grabbed one his own wrists and fired up his chidori.

"CHIDORI!" Sasuke shouted as a bunch of chakra became visible in a lightning form.

Everybody in the stands were shocked and their jaws dropped, even Gaara was wide eyed when he saw it from inside the sand.

Then Sasuke charged into the giant ball of sand with his chidori and cut through the sand. In the process, he cut Gaara's arm.

Then Sasuke's arm was stuck.

Gaara looked at the dripping blood on his own arm.

"(What is this, this warm liquid? Mother, what is it!? Blood...)" Gaara thought as he looked at it.

Then Gaara's eyes went wide.

"BLOOD!!!! IT'S MY BLOOD!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Gaara screamed.

Everybody in the stands gasped as Gaara continued to scream bloody murder.

Then Sasuke pulled his arm out as the sand went away, revealing Gaara. Who looked very evil at that point.

"You...you...you..um...what's my line?" Gaara said but muttered the last part.

Sasuke rose an eyebrow.

"(What was it? Was it...'die, my prey!' or 'you'll pay for this, Uchiha!'?)" Gaara thought.

Sasuke looked confused.

"Did he forget his lines?" Sasuke asked.

Everybody in the stands then started laughing at Gaara for forgetting his lines. Even Sasuke snickered slightly.

Gaara's face was now becoming very red in embarrassment as he glanced around at the laughing people.

"(They're laughing...why? What is this? My face feels...like it's on fire! Mother, what is this? ...Embarrassment? Oh I want to go crawl under a hole at this point...)" Gaara thought as he put his hands over his now neon red face.

* * *

**#3, Gaara Arrives To Back Lee Up...**

Rock Lee was thrown to the ground after being hurt by Kimmimaro.

Lee then looked up and saw Gaara standing above him.  
"Gaara? Is that you?" Lee asked.

Gaara nodded.

Kimmimaro tilted his head.

"Who's this guy?" Kimmimaro asked.

Gaara crossed his arms.  
"Gaara of The Desert." Gaara replied.

Lee then smiled and stood up.

"Well, can you help me finish this guy?" Lee asked.

Gaara smirked slightly.  
"Sure." Gaara said.

Then Gaara took a step forward but tripped.

"AAAAAAAAAAA!" Gaara shouted as he tripped and fell right on his face.

Lee rose an eyebrow and Kimmimaro tilted his head again.

"Another 'loopy fist' fighter?" Kimmimaro asked as he snickered slightly.

Gaara then raised his head up and spit out the sand that got in his mouth.

Lee started laughing and so did Kimmimaro.

"Haahaa...haaaaaaha!!!! I CAN'T STAND IT!!! Haaaha!!!" Lee said as he got down on his knees and punched the ground will laughing.

Gaara glared at the two as his face slowly turned a bright red.  
"This is not funny!" Gaara said.

Then Kimmimaro wiped a tear from his eye from laughing so hard.

"Maybe not from your angle, but it's hilarious from here!" Kimmimaro said as he laughed.

Gaara then scowled at the two as his face got only redder.

* * *

**#4, Gaara Cheats On The Test...**

Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke along with several other genin were sitting in a room taking the Chunin Exams test. It was hard, so everyone but Naruto were cheating.

Gaara sat in the desk with his eyes closed.  
"We're both the same, connect our two selves and open the third sandy eye..." Gaara muttered.

Temari rose an eyebrow because she heard what he said.

Temari quickly wrote something down on a piece of paper and threw it over to Gaara.

For some reason, the third eye opened anyway, and Gaara was writing down the answers when the piece of paper Temari threw hit his head.

"Who threw that paper at me?" Gaara asked in a deadly voice.

Then Gaara saw the piece of paper and silently read it.

_Hey, Gaara! It's me Temari! Listen, you uh...messed up your lines._

_Um...so...that's about it...oh, and by the way...your uh...fly's open!_

Gaara read silently.

Gaara's eyes then widened and he quickly zipped up his pants. Then he went back to writing down the answers while hoping nobody saw that.

* * *

**#5, Gaara Walks Past Naruto And Shikamaru...**

Naruto and Shikamaru were walking down the steps in the Chunin Exams stands. And Gaara was walking past them.

"(What's that guy doing?)" Shikamaru thought as Gaara walked down the steps next to them.

But Gaara tripped on one of the steps and rolled down the rest of the steps.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Gaara screamed as he rolled down the stairs helplessly.

Naruto and Shikamaru blinked.

"Maybe it's a bad idea to carry a heavy gourd when your walking down steps..." Shikamaru said.

Naruto looked worried.

"Let's go help him! We have to get him up for the next scene in this episode!" Naruto said.

Naruto and Shikamaru then ran down to the very bottom of the steps.

When they got to the bottom, they saw Gaara laying on his back trying to stand up.

"HELP!!! SOMEONE HELP!!! I'VE FALLIN' AND I CAN'T GET UP!!!!" Gaara shouted.

Naruto and Shikamaru couldn't help but laugh at that.

Then a random guy showed up and helped Gaara stand up as Naruto and Shikamaru laughed.

* * *

**As soon as they were over...**

The camera man was behind the camera laughing, Naruto was laughing and banging his fist on the wall, and Gaara was sighing as his face was now very red and hot in embarrassment.

"Oh man! That was hilarious!" Naruto said as he recovered from laughing.

Gaara scowled.

"That's it." Gaara said as he directed some sand over to the camera.

The last thing that was seen and heard was Gaara saying 'sand coffin!', Naruto screaming like a little girl, and a wave of sand crashing over the camera.

* * *

**Please Stand By...**

Kankuro was disassembling Sasori's dead puppet body.

"Hey! My name's Kankuro! And I'm gonna turn this guy into one of puppets!" Kankuro said to the camera as he smiled and held a screwdriver.

* * *

**Two hours of buying a new camera and film later...**

Then Naruto and the camera man looked uneasily as walked along the training grounds.

"This where we train in the show! And it's been in a few episodes but...it's not too important." Naruto commented.

The camera man nodded.

Then Temari walked up and looked into the camera.

"Naruto? What's with the camera?" Temari asked as she looked into it.

Naruto turned his head and looked shocked.

"Temari?! Uh...I'm interviewing the cast, and showing a few secrets via this camera." Naruto said as he pointed at the camera.

Temari smiled.

"Cool. Well...wanna interview me?" Temari asked as she smirked.

Naruto frowned.

"Actually, Gaara attacked the last camera and we had to buy this new camera. So...we didn't get to buy enough film to last a while..." Naruto explained.

Temari's face fell.

"Oh...okay." Temari said.

Naruto looked like felt sorry for Temari but then he smiled.

"But...we could show a bonus scene from your fight with Tayuya." Naruto said.

Temari's face lit up and she clapped her hands together.

"Great! Cause the it was a short fight for the viewers...and I always like a chance to shine!" Temari said.

Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"Okay...roll the bonus scene!" Naruto said to the camera man.

The camera man smiled and rolled the scene.

* * *

**Special Bonus Scene: Temari Backs Up Shikamaru...**

Tayuya looked confused as Temari stood in front of Shikamaru.

"(What's she planning? And what's with that big fan?)" Tayuya thought as she brought her flute closer to her.

"Watch this." Temari said as she smirked and pulled out her fan.

"TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE THIS!!!" Temari shouted as she created a big gust of wind with her fan.

Shikamaru was wide eyed at the strong gust of wind.

"ACK!!! No! I won't be defeated that easily!" Tayuya said as she clung to the tree branch.

Temari looked shocked as Tayuya jumped up in the air and then charged at her for a punch.

"I thought you said she was a long ranged fighter!" Temari said to Shikamaru.

Shikamaru stood up.

"I never said that!" Shikamaru said.

Temari smirked as she brought her fan up.

Tayuya was coming pretty fast to punch Temari.

Then Temari suddenly created a very, very gusty wind that sent Tayuya and a bunch of trees flying with her.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Tayuya screamed as she got knocked back with all the trees falling on top of her.

Shikamaru was wide eyed.

Temari smiled and winked as she put her fan away.

"And...that's the end of her!" Temari said.

* * *

Naruto, Temari, and the camera man smiled.

"That was cool." Naruto said to Temari.

Temari smirked and winked into the camera.

Then the camera man frowned.  
"Um...we don't have much film left!" The camera man said.

Naruto looked angrily into the camera.

"Ugh! I hate this film limit!" Naruto said as he scowled.

Temari sighed.

Then Naruto smiled again as he skipped in front of the camera.

"Hey! Let's take advantage of this moment, and show a few of Temari's bloopers!" Naruto said.

Temari looked shocked.

"N-Naruto! Please don't! I still haven't got over one of them..." Temari said as she blushed slightly.

Naruto snickered.

"Well too bad! Let's see them, camera man!" Naruto said.

The camera man nodded and rolled the bloopers.

* * *

**#1, Temari Asks Gaara If He's Alright...**

Gaara sat on the ground glancing around in shock at how many people were there.

Naruto smiled and Kankuro smiled.

"You really had us worried, little bro!" Kankuro said.

Temari scowled at Kankuro.

Then Temari got down on the ground and grabbed Gaara by his shirt.

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT?! YOU HAD ME WORRIED SICK!!! IF YOU DON'T ANSWER ME, YOUR GROUNDED!!!!!" Temari yelled right in Gaara's face.

Gaara was wide eyed and then he started snickering.  
"Those...haha...weren't your lines!" Gaara said as he snickered.

Temari looked confused.

"Haha!!!! Haha!!! Temari messed up her lines!" Naruto said as he laughed.

Then everybody laughed, including Neji and Gaara.

Temari blushed.

"Okay, okay! Let's just forget this!" Temari said as she stood up.

* * *

**#2, Temari Falls Backwards Against The Wall...**

Sakura smiled as she was done removing the poison from Kankuro.

"He'll be alright. Hopefully, he's gonna wake up soon." Sakura said.

Temari sighed with relief and then crashed backwards against the wall.

"OUCH!!!!" Temari shouted as she rubbed her head.

Everybody turned their heads to Temari.

"What happened?" Lady Chiyo asked.

Temari rubbed her head.

"Ugh...I hit my head against the wall when I fell backwards..." Temari said as she rubbed her head.

Then Sakura, the Sand's medical ninja, and Lady Chiyo started laughing.

Temari scowled at them.

"It's not funny!" Temari said.

Then Ebizo walked up to her.

"Maybe not to you, Temari. But it sure is funny to us!" Ebizo said as he laughed.

Temari scowled even more.

* * *

**#3, What's His Name?...**

Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon stood in front of Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari.

"What's your name?" Sasuke asked Gaara.

Temari blushed slightly and smiled.

"Who? Me?" Temari asked.

Sasuke shook his head.

"Not you. The guy with the gourd on his back." Sasuke said as he pointed.

Gaara stared at Sasuke as Temari's face fell.

"Gaara of The Desert." Gaara replied. "And what's your name?" Gaara asked.

Sasuke smirked.

"Sasuke Uchiha." Sasuke replied.

Then Naruto jumped in.

"Hey! I bet your dying to know my name, right?!" Naruto asked Gaara.

Gaara glanced over at Naruto.  
"I couldn't care less." Gaara replied.

Naruto's face fell.

Then Temari spoke up.

"Wait! Ask me my name! Please!" Temari begged.

Sasuke rose an eyebrow.

"I don't really care what your name is..." Sasuke coldly said.

Kankuro grabbed Temari's arm.

"Let's go." Kankuro said.

Temari scowled and pulled away.

"No, Kankuro! Sasuke, ask me my name!" Temari said as she walked closer to him.

Sakura scowled.

"No way! If Sasuke doesn't want to ask your name, he doesn't have to!" Sakura defended.

Temari scowled.

"Move out of my way you pink-haired fangirl!" Temari said as she knocked Sakura out of the way.

Sasuke scowled.

"I'm not asking for your name. Besides, in the script, it clearly states that your name isn't supposed to be revealed yet." Sasuke said.

Temari smirked.

"Aw! Your going by the script! Well, is THIS in the script?" Temari asked as she licked her lips.

Sasuke frowned.

"What are you-" Sasuke said but was cut off by Temari grabbing him by his shirt and then kissing him.

Kankuro, Udon, Moegi, Konohamaru, Sakura, Naruto, and Gaara were all wide eyed.

* * *

**As soon as they were over...**

Naruto and the camera man were literally dieing of laughter and Temari was blushing and scowling.

"HAPPY NOW?! THOSE BLOOPERS WEREN'T NECESSARY!!!!" Temari yelled.

Naruto stopped laughing and walked back in front of the camera.

"Maybe not, but they were hilarious! Well, we're about outta film. But we're gonna bring you more behind the scenes look of the show as soon as we-" Naruto said but was cut off by Sai.

"Hey! I wanna be interviewed!" Sai shouted as he ran up in front of the camera.

Temari rose an eyebrow as Naruto sighed.

"Sorry, Sai. But we are almost out of film..." Naruto said.

Sai gave Naruto a fake smile.

"Please? I'm now a main character aren't I?" Sai asked.

Naruto scowled.

"Not really. But...I guess you can say ONE thing to the viewers..." Naruto said.

Sai smirked.

"Great! Hey all you Naruto viewers! Thanks for tuning in and watching! Your gonna want to continue that, because soon I'm gonna do something very cool that will have you glued to your seat!" Sai said as he gave a fake smile into the camera.

Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Yeah right! Sai's just being a-" Naruto said but was cut off as the camera turned off from lack of film.

So until Naruto and the camera man get more film, think of that as a break. And what was Naruto going to call Sai? That's left for the imagination to figure out!

Continued.

* * *

Wow, that took a while to type! I decided to make the second chapter even longer then the first since the first chapter kind of didn't have much going on. Anyway, I plan to update soon. But I'm not really sure when that will be...

Read and review! :)


	3. Interviewing The Akatsuki

Author's Note: I decided to go on ahead and update the next chapter. This story doesn't get much reviews. -_-" Hopefully that will change with this chapter. Anyway, I don't own Naruto, cameras, the movie Titanic, or anything mentioned in this story.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

Naruto:Behind The Scenes:

Chapter Three...

The camera turned back on after more film being put in. However, instead of Naruto being in front of the camera, a certain orange mask wearing Akatsuki member was in front of the camera.

"Hi everybody! My name is Tobi! Tobi is here to show you around the set of the Akatsuki's secret hideout!" Tobi said as he smiled under his mask.

Then Itachi walked up.

"Tobi, what is going on? And where did you get that camera and that camera man?" Itachi asked as he blankly stared into the camera.

Tobi grinned widely under his mask.

"Tobi got them from a kid with spikey blond hair wearing orange and black clothes!" Tobi answered.

Itachi thought for a minute.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Meanwhile...**

Naruto was turning the set of Naruto upside down as he searched for the camera man and the camera.

"Where the heck did he go?! I told him that he can only have thirty minute breaks!" Naruto said as he crawled under a picnic table.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Back with Tobi and Itachi on the set of the Akatsuki hideout...**

"Anyway, say something to the viewers Itachi!" Tobi said.

Itachi sighed and stood in front of the camera.  
"Hey, viewers. I'm Itachi Uchiha and I'm considered one of the show's antagonists. And if your watching this Sasuke, your still a foolish little brother who will never be strong enough to avenge the clan." Itachi said bluntly.

Tobi blinked under his mask and the camera man blinked as well.

Then Tobi smiled and walked back in front of the camera next to Itachi.

"Okay, let's wrap this up with a few of Itachi's bloopers from previous episodes!" Tobi said.

Itachi's eyes actually widened.

"What. Did. You. Say. Tobi?" Itachi asked.

Tobi tilted his head.

"I said 'bloopers'. Tobi thinks it will wrap things up nicely. Role em, Mr. Camera man!" Tobi said.

The camera man nodded and rolled Itachi's bloopers.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**#1, Itachi Jabs Sasuke In The Forehead...**

A younger Itachi sat emotionless sat a desk. Then a younger Sasuke entered the room.

"Itachi! Can you help me with my shuriken practice today?" Sasuke asked.

Itachi blankly turned around to face his little brother.

Sasuke blinked at the lack of emotion put into the dramatic moment.

Then Itachi motioned for Sasuke to come closer.

Sasuke obeyed and walked closer to Itachi.

Then Itachi's face still showed no emotion as he stuck on finger out.

Itachi then slowly extended his finger out to jab Sasuke's forehead, but he accidentally jabbed his eye by mistake.

"OUCH!!! ITACHI! YOU POKED MY EYE!!!" Sasuke shouted as he put his hand over his eye.

Itachi's face still had no emotion, but a small snicker escaped from his mouth at how silly Sasuke looked.

"Sasuke..." Itachi said as he extended his arm.

Then Sasuke scowled and swatted away Itachi's arm and scowled.

"It's too late for apology's, big brother! I'm telling Mom about this!" Sasuke said as he ran to the doorway and stuck his head out.

"MOM!!!! ITACHI POKED ME IN THE EYE AND HE'S TRYING TO APOLOGIZE LAMELY!!!!" Sasuke shouted/whined.

"Itachi?!" Their mother's voice called.

"It was an accident!" Itachi's shouted.

"Your grounded for a month!" Their mother's voice called.

Itachi looked shocked.

"A month?! Ugh! No wonder I'm depressed all the time, my parents ground me over tiny things!" Itachi shouted.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**#2, Sasuke VS Itachi...**

Itachi and Kisame stood in front of a very frightened Naruto.

"BROTHER!" Sasuke shouted.

Naruto's eyes widened as he looked over at Sasuke on the other end of the hall.

Itachi just stared.

"I hope your ready to die! All this time, I've strengthened my hatred!" Sasuke said as he started up his chidori.

Itachi just stared and did nothing to defend himself from his revenge-obsessed-brother.

"As soon as I'm done...IT WILL BE THE END OF YOU!!" Sasuke shouted in a very intimidating voice as he charged.

Sasuke charged at his older brother, his chidori burning with rage and hatred.

Naruto and Kisame watched in amazement. Well...Kisame was fantasizing about how Naruto's leg would look mounted over the fireplace.

Itachi's eyes widened as his life literally flashed before his eyes.

Before Sasuke could get close enough to Itachi to hit him with his chidori, Itachi quickly reached over to Kisame's chakra eating sword.

Kisame looked confused.

"Itachi, what are you doing-" Kisame said but was cut off by the sound of Itachi grabbing the sword and hitting Sasuke with it.

Sasuke then went flying into the wall, and Itachi was panting as he gripped the sword tightly.

Kisame scowled and Naruto blinked in confusion.

"...What was all that about, Itachi? You were supposed to grab him by his wrist!" Naruto corrected.

Itachi panted more as he threw down the sword.

"What was I supposed to do?! Let him kill me?! There's so many sights I've always wanted to see in life before I die!" Itachi said.

Naruto and Kisame exchanged confused looks.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**As soon as they were over...**

Tobi and the camera man were laughing like crazy, and Itachi was scowling.

"Haha! That was funny! Itachi, you aren't made about Tobi showing a few bloopers right? Itachi? Hello?" Tobi asked.

Itachi scowled more.  
"MONGEKYO SHARINGAN!" Itachi shouted as he activated his sharingan.

Tobi's eyes widened under his mask and he screamed like a little girl.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Please Stand By...**

Matsuri and Sari had Gaara tied to a chair. And they were both standing on the opposite side.

"Now then, you must choose right here, right now WHO you like best!" Sari said.

Matsuri smiled.

"Yeah! Do that, and we'll leave you alone, Gaara! Tell us!" Matsuri said.

Gaara sighed.

"(My life is so not fair...)" Gaara thought.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Ten Minutes Later...**

Itachi had failed to capture Tobi in a genjutsu. Right at the last minute, Tobi threw away his mask revealing his sharingan, and the fact he was Madara Uchiha, and he captured Itachi in a genjutsu to turn the tables.

The camera man was wide eyed.

"Is he...alright?" The camera man asked.

Tobi's/Madara's back faced the camera as he put back on the mask and nobody saw his face. (Darn!)

When Tobi had put back on the mask, he glanced down at the lifeless form of Itachi.

"...Itachi will wake up soon. In the meantime, let's go find Deidara Senpai!" Tobi said as he left the area.

The camera man shrugged his shoulders and walked right over Itachi with the camera.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Twenty minutes of walking up long staircases later...**

Tobi and the camera man were panting as they climbed the last step.

"...Whew...maybe we should have taken the elevator instead..." Tobi said as he looked into the camera that the camera man was barely holding.

They were outside of what appeared to be a room.

"This door leads to me and Deidara Senpai's room! Let's go in and see if Senpai's in here..." Tobi said as he put his hand on the doorknob.

The camera man gripped the camera better.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Please Stand By...**

Shikamaru and Chouji were standing in front of a camera. Chouji was smiling, but Shikamaru looked very bored.

"Hello! My name is Chouji and this is Shikamaru!" Chouji introduced.

Shikamaru just yawned.

Then Ino walked into the scene.

"You guys making videos for dating websites again?" Ino asked.

Shikamaru sighed.

"No, we're just introducing ourselves to the viewers. Besides, the last time Chouji made me do that, I was matched up with Sakura at least ten times." Shikamaru said.

Ino looked confused.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Three Minutes Later...**

Tobi watched as the camera man struggled to hold the camera right.

"...Tobi's getting bored." Tobi said.

Tobi only got a grunt as a response as the camera man continued to struggle.

Finally, the camera man fixed the camera and Tobi finally twisted the doorknob to the room.

The door opened, and in the room was Deidara. But his hair was in hair curlers, he had a face mask on, and was wearing only a towel around his waist as he sat on his bed clipping his toenails.

"Hi, Senpai!" Tobi greeted as he waved very childishly.

Deidara sighed.

"Tobi, I told you not to bother me while I'm..." Deidara said as he looked up and trailed off.

Deidara's eyes widened when he saw Tobi with a camera and some dude behind it.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! TURN THAT OFF!!!!!" Deidara shouted as he dropped the clippers and put his hands over his chest.

The camera man couldn't help but snicker at the scene.

"Not yet, Deidara Senpai! Tobi was going to interview you!" Tobi said.

Deidara scowled.

"Well why is there a camera?" Deidara asked as he removed his hands.

"Oh, the viewers are seeing all this live, via this camera." Tobi replied.

Deidara's eyes widened again.

"WHAT?! Get out of here then! At least let me make myself decent!" Deidara shouted.

Tobi frowned under his mask.

"But Senpai...we don't have much film left..." Tobi said.

The camera man decided to say something to add to the chaos.

"You know, a bunch of girls are watching this right now, and a lot are your fangirls..." The camera man said.

Deidara's face turned bright red in embarrassment.

"WHAT!? THEN GET OUT OF HERE!" Deidara yelled.

Tobi tilted his head.

"Senpai's really loud today..." Tobi said.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Please Stand By...**

Naruto was still searching for the camera and the camera man on the set of the village.

"Where did he go? I've looked everywhere!" Naruto said in frustration.

Naruto then sighed and kicked a can that randomly appeared at his feet.

"I'M the main character! I'M supposed to be the one interviewing around here! Some idiot miles away from here is probably fiddling around with the camera!" Naruto said.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Ten Minutes Later...**

Tobi and the camera man waited outside the room as Deidara hurriedly got dressed and fixed his hair.

Then Deidara opened the door and stepped out wearing his regular clothes and his Akatsuki cloak with his hair in it's usual style.

"There! Now I'm decent!" Deidara said.

Tobi nodded and smiled under his mask.

"Alright, here's a question, what's your thoughts about the Uchiha?" Tobi asked.

Deidara scowled.

"They're just a bunch of pathetic, worthless, selfish, overly confident, fools." Deidara said.

The camera man decided to speak up again.

"Um...the Itachi and Sasuke fangirls who are watching this right now aren't gonna be happy about you saying that!" The camera man said.

Deidara and Tobi ignored that comment.

"Okay Deidara Sempai, here's a random question Tobi threw in for fun! Who would you rather go on a date with? Sakura or Ino?" Tobi asked.

Deidara thought for a minute.

"Hmm...neither." Deidara said.

Tobi tilted his head.

"Neither?" Tobi repeated.

Deidara nodded.

"Yes. Neither of the two. I don't need a girl. I have my one true love already, art. Art is the one thing that I live for. But art is more beautiful...WHEN'S IT'S AN EXPLOSION!" Deidara shouted as he took some clay and made an explosion with it.

Tobi and the camera man looked very confused as smoke got all over their clothes.

Deidara smirked.

Tobi bit his lip under his mask and wiped the smoke off of himself.

"Okay...let's wrap the the interview, Senpai! We're going to show a couple of your bloopers!" Tobi said as he clapped his hands together.

Deidara looked shocked.

"Why the heck do we need to show those?!" Deidara asked.

"Because Tobi's a good boy! Role the bloopers, please!" Tobi ordered.

The camera man smiled at his manners and rolled the bloopers.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**#1, Gaara Doesn't Exist Anymore...**

Thanks to the 'button hook entry' Team Kakashi and Lady Chiyo were able to break in.

But when they entered the big cave, they saw Gaara's body lifeless on the ground with Deidara and Sasori sitting in front of it waiting.

"We're too late..." Kakashi said.

Naruto looked shocked at the scene.

"Which one do you think is the jinchuriki, Deidara?" Sasori asked in his puppet body.

"Itachi said it was-" Deidara said but was cut off by Naruto.  
"YOU MONSTERS!!!!" Naruto shouted in rage.

Sakura's face fell.

Deidara smirked.

"That's him. The one who goes in and starts barking..." Deidara said.

Kakashi tilted his head.  
"Are you calling him a dog?" Kakashi questioned.

Sakura scowled at Kakashi.

"Sensei! Get back into character and go by the script!" Sakura snapped.

Deidara and Sasori exchanged glances and then Deidara spoke up to taunt Naruto.

"Well, well! What do you think? Isn't it great?" Deidara asked.

"(He's ruining this scene!)" Sasori thought.

"GAARA!!! WHY ARE YOU LAYING ON THE GROUND LIKE THAT?! ANSWER ME!!!" Naruto screamed.

"Good luck with that! Gaara ceased to exit the second we-" Deidara said but was cut off by Lady Chiyo.

"Those weren't the lines!" Lady Chiyo said.

Deidara looked shocked.  
"What? It says right here...UGH! I hate being corrected! Let's just get on with this!" Deidara said in frustration as he stood up.

Naruto couldn't hold in the laughter as he looked at Deidara.

"Haha...hahaaa!!! You look like a woman!" Naruto said as he laughed.

Deidara looked shocked and then scowled.

Sakura sighed.

Sasori sighed as well.

"A woman?! I AM A GUY! That's it!" Deidara said as he got out some clay.

From all across the lands, explosions were heard and very loud 'ART IS AN EXPLOSION!' shouts.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**#2, Deidara Takes A Bite Of His Clay Bird...**

Everybody including Team Kakashi, Team Guy, and Lady Chiyo watched Deidara walk over to his clay bird.

Then Deidara put his mouth on the bird and prepared to take a bite. But his eyes widened and he started spitting.

"EW!!! EW, EW EWWW!!! That tastes HORRIBLE!!!" Deidara shouted in disgust.

Everybody sweatdropped except Sakura, who laughed.

Ten Minutes Of Mouth Washing Later...

Deidara was forced to do the scene again. This time, it was hard for Sakura to keep a straight face, the last take was too funny.

Deidara scowled and mumbled curses to Masashi Kishimoto under his breath as he prepared to take a bite of the clay bird.

This time, he forced the horrible tasting clay in his mouth and started chewing.

"(What's he planning?)" Tenten thought.

Deidara then started chewing the clay more.

"I think it's about time to show my ultimate work of art!" Was what Deidara was supposed to say.

But instead, it came out like this...

"I tink bit's mout ime o po mu ultimon ork of sart!"

Everybody anime sweatdropped again.

"..." Sakura busted out laughing.

"Doesn't he know that you can't talk with your mouth full?" Lady Chiyo asked.

Deidara blushed slightly when he realized nobody understood what he said.

Then be spat out the clay again in disgust as Sakura rolled on the ground laughing.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**As soon as they were over...**

Tobi and the camera man were laughing quite hard at that as Deidara scowled at them evilly.

"I'm so gonna kill you for showing those!" Deidara shouted.

Tobi stopped laughing and sweatdropped as he ran off.

Then Deidara got out some clay and chased after him.

The camera man just watched the chaos from where he was standing.

"HOW DARE YOU SHOW MY BLOOPERS!!!" Deidara's voice shouted.

"WAAAAH!!! TOBI'S SORRY!!! TOBI WAS JUST TRYING TO KEEP THINGS INTERESTING, DEIDARA SENPAI!!!!" Tobi's voice shouted.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Please Stand By...**

Pein and Konan were standing under a tree kissing.

But they pulled away when they sensed someone's presence.

"Kazuku! Turn off that camera!" Pein said.

Kazuku laughed rather evilly.

"Not a chance, Leader Pein! I'm gonna make big bucks with this after I post the video on Youtube for all the Pein/Konan fans to see!" Kazuku said.

Konan briefly looked shocked, but then stared angrily at the money-loving-Akatsuki member.

"Kazuku, turn off that camera, or I'll make a sky full of origami birds that will swoop down and murder you...rather violently. And then I'll burn all your bags of money." Konan said very calm yet cold.

Kazuku looked shocked and then quickly rolled the camera down the hill. ..Which wasn't logical, because there was no hill to begin with.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Twenty minutes of explosions, cries, and a hospital visit later...**

Tobi and the camera man survived Deidara's rampage and where now outside Itachi and Kisame's room.

"Now, let's interview Kisame!" Tobi said excitedly into the camera.

Without knocking, Tobi opened the door. Inside was Kisame.

Kisame was sitting on the floor with a portable DVD player that appeared to be playing the movie Titanic on DVD. He was also crying, and had several boxes of tissues scattered around the floor.

"Kisame?" Tobi asked.

Kisame jumped at the sound of Tobi's voice, then he turned around.

"AAAAAAAAAH!!! WHO'S CRYING?! NOT ME?!" Kisame shouted as he stood up and wip;ed his eyes.

Tobi tilted his head.

"...Okay? Hey, Tobi didn't know that the movie Titanic was on DVD! Oooo! Can Tobi borrow it?!" Tobi asked as he clapped his hands together.

Kisame scowled and kicked the DVD player under the bed.

"No! Now why do you have a camera and some guy behind it?" Kisame asked.

"Oh! Tobi's showing all the Naruto viewers the set of the Akatsuki hideout and interviewing the members!" Tobi explained.

Kisame was still confused.

"Anyway, why don't you tell the viewers something?" Tobi asked.

Kisame sighed.

"Alright. Hey all you viewers! Thanks for tuning in! I know all you Kisame fangirls out there are probably out there now clapping and cheering." Kisame said.

Tobi and the camera man were both standing by each other behind the camera, and they exchanged confused looks.

"He has fangirls?" The camera man asked as he pointed.

Tobi shrugged his shoulders.

"And now to clear things up...I AM NOT A SHARK!!! SO YOU IDIOTS OUT THERE WATCHING, JUST STOP LAUGHING AT THE 'Shark Man' BECAUSE I AM NOT A SHARK!" Kisame yelled into the camera.

Tobi was wide eyed under his mask.

"...Okay...let's uh...let's run before Kisame destroys the camera on his 'I am not a shark' rampage!" Tobi said.

Then Tobi spun around on the heels of his feet and ran out the door with the camera man.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Please Stand By...**

Sasuke was standing by a tree in the middle of a forest reading Naruto manga.

Then Naruto walked past him in his search for the camera and the camera man.

Naruto and Sasuke's eyes locked.

"..." Naruto planted his feet on the ground.

"...." Sasuke pretended not to notice him and flipped to a random page of the manga.

Their eyes were still locked though. It looked as if they were having a staring contest.

"..." Naruto pulled a kunai out of his pocket.

"..." Sasuke activated his sharingan.

".........." Naruto clenched his hands into fists.

".........." Sasuke planted his feet firmly on the ground.

".....Ugh! What are we doing?!" Naruto shouted.

"I don't know." Sasuke said.

Naruto didn't understand what they were doing, he just grabbed Sasuke's manga and ran off.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Fifteen seconds of running away later...**

Tobi skipped happily along the corridors of the hideout, with the camera man and the camera right behind him.

Then Tobi suddenly stopped in front of a door.

"Okay, Tobi wanted to interview Hidan and Kazuku, but they're on a mission. So, We're going to interview Leader Pein instead!" Tobi said.

Then Tobi opened the door which was Pein's office.

Inside, Pein was leaning on his desk kissing Konan who was sitting on the desk.

"Hi Leader Pein! Hi Konan!" Tobi greeted.

Pein and Konan looked shocked and immediately pulled away and looked over at Tobi and the camera man.

"Tobi! GET OUT!" Konan shouted as her face turned red from both anger and embarrassment.

Pein scowled at Tobi.

"Yes! I told you never to barge into my office!" Pein snapped.

The camera man sweat dropped and Tobi smiled into the camera. Well...nobody knew if he was smiling because of the mask.

"Tobi came to interview you, Leader! And since Konan's already here too...we have two people to interview!" Tobi said.

Konan scowled and got off the desk.

"What's with that camera?" Konan asked.

"Oh, this all being shown to the Naruto viewers live, by this camera." The camera man answered.

Konan's eyes widened.

"Live?! Wait! Give me a minute!" Konan said.

Tobi, the camera man, and Pein watched Konan run her fingers through her hair and wipe dust off her cloak.

"Okay, now I am ready." Konan said as she gave an 'attempted' smile into the camera.

"Okay, Konan! Uh...what's your favorite moment in the Naruto show?" Tobi asked.

"The moment you reveal yourself to be Madara Uchiha. Because then, we don't have to deal with the idiot Tobi persona." Konan said.

Tobi's eyes widened in shock under his mask.

"M-M-Madara?! W-Who's that?! Uh...I'm not him! I'm just uh...good little boy named Tobi!" Tobi said as he broke out into a nervous sweat.

Pein stared at him.

"...Are you sweating?" Pein asked.

Tobi then gulped and stood back in front of the camera as Konan smirked.

"A-A-A-A-And n-now...w-we-we-we're going t-to interview L-L-Leader P-P-Pein!" Tobi stuttered as he walked over to the desk.

Pein stared at him.

"Okay so ah...Leader Pein, what's your thoughts about all the fillers in the show?" Tobi asked.

Pein sighed.

"Well, I don't particularly like them because they interrupt the plot. But however, if it wasn't for the fillers, there would be no comedy in the show." Pein said.

Konan then walked up in front of the camera.

"Leader is so right. You viewers KNOW it's true." Konan commented.

Tobi and Pein looked at Konan and then she casually walked out of the room.

"Okay...and here's another question! It's a special 'Tobi Question'!" Tobi said excitedly.

Pein rolled his eyes while mumbling something about a nice cup of coffee.

"Here is the question! What's your thoughts about Tobi?" Tobi asked as he leaned on the desk.

Pein opened his mouth to say something, but then Naruto suddenly busted into the room breaking the door down in the process.

Tobi turned around and blinked, Pein had a weird look on his face, and the camera man turned the camera to face Naruto.

Naruto looked pretty upset, and he was panting.

"Give me the camera and that man back!" Naruto said.

Tobi clapped his hands together.  
"Yay! It's a guest! Let's get the snacks!" Tobi randomly said.

Naruto stopped and raised an eyebrow, the camera man did a double take, and Pein sweatdropped and sighed.

"...What?" Tobi asked.

Naruto shook his head and then pointed into the camera.

"Anyway, I'm the one interviewing the characters and showing the set around here! Give me that back!" Naruto said.

Tobi shrugged his shoulders.

"Alright. Camera man, Tobi's letting you go." Tobi said.

The camera man nodded and Naruto smiled.

"Thanks, you random, weird, mask wearing Akatsuki member!" Naruto said as he left the room with the camera man and camera.

When they left, Pein scowled at Tobi.

"Tobi..." Pein said.

Tobi looked at him.

"Yes, Leader?" Tobi asked.

"You just let the Nine-Tailed jinchuriki get away! What's wrong with you?!" Pein yelled.

Tobi looked scared under his mask.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

**Outside The Akatsuki Hideout...**

Naruto stood in front of the camera with the camera man behind it.

"Well all you Naruto viewers, you just got a behind the scenes look of the Akatsuki. I don't know what kind of stupid stuff that mask wearing guy showed you, but it better have been good!" Naruto said.

The camera man snickered at the memory of what he saw.

"Anyway, we're almost out of film, but before we leave, I'd like to say a few-" Naruto said but was cut off by Kazuku's voice.

"Alright! Look at all the money we stole!" Kazuku's voice said.

Naruto glanced over at Kazuku.

"Hey! That's my wallet!" Naruto said as he ran over to Kazuku.

"You mean this is YOUR wallet? Oh! I had no idea!" Kazuku said in an 'attempted' innocent voice as he smirked.

The camera man turned the camera on Naruto and Kazuku.

"Give it back! I can't buy any ramen without it!" Naruto shouted.

Kazuku smirked and dangled the wallet in his face.

"No way! IT'S MINE!" Kazuku shouted as he held the wallet close to his chest and started foaming in the mouth.

Then the camera man watched in horror as Naruto started beating up Kazuku for the wallet.

Suddenly, Sakura walked up in front of the camera.

"Well, it looks like Naruto is kinda busy right now. I guess I have to do the last speech.

Sakura cleared her throat and then smiled.

"Thank you for watching 'Naruto' and 'Naruto Shippuden', we really appreciate it. You'll find more behind the scenes looks of the show as soon as we put more film into the camera." Sakura said.

Sakura then waved, and the camera turned off from lack of film.

Continued.

…..................................................................................................................................................................

There you go! I decided to make this chapter extra longer since I haven't updated in a while. I hope the story is amusing. Your probably wondering how Tobi got the camera from Naruto right? Well, I'll leave it up to you to figure that out! I'll update this story as soon as I can. You can expect the next chapter either Friday night or Sunday night at the most.

Read and please review or Kazuku will come steal your wallet! ;)


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: Seriously, I'm just a fan. If I actually owned the anime/manga series, Naruto or Naruto Shippuden, then we would all be doomed.**_

_**A/N: Damn, it's been awhile since I've last wrote a chapter to this story! O.O It's been about a year now? I had just intended to put it on a short hiatus, but I guess I must have forgotten about it completely. Stupid me is stupid. I just read back over the first three chapters to this story...and facepalmed. I didn't realize how much they sucked at the time. ._.**_

_**Since it's been awhile, I figured it would be fun to write another chapter. But possibly a little bit better. Emphasis on LITTLE BIT. Don't ask about if I'll finish the fic or not. I still need to think about that myself.**_

_**Anyway, um, I hope you enjoy the chaos that this story is! Any feedback is appreciated and whatnot!**_

_. . . . ._

Naruto: Behind The Scenes

Chapter Four: Of 'Good Times', Bad Pronunciation, and Chaos

_. . . . ._

It took awhile to finally get the film they needed in order to get the camera up and running. But they managed to do it. The first thing visible from that beaten camera was Naruto's grinning face as per usual.

"And...welcome back to the special, undercover, behind the scenes look at this show! You're all here getting a very thoughtful and dramatic sneak peak at all the little things that go on when the cameras stop rolling and the reoccurring bloopers, and surprising secrets! Of course, it's all coming from the main and awesome title character himself!" The camera man rolled his eyes. "So far, you've seen some special looks at Sakura and Neji straight from their trailers, an interview and unfortunate display with Gaara, stupid mess-ups, insanity, and even a quick sneak peak at those Akatsuki freaks by that random one with the orange mash. But now you'll be getting a look at something different."

Naruto reached for a random knotted rope that fell down beside him. He gave it a strong yank, and the curtain behind him was lifted up. It revealed a stage that was completely barren except for two chairs that were occupied by an annoyed Sasuke and Sakura. There was an extra seat that had Kakashi's name on it in kanji, but it was empty.

Realizing suddenly that Kakashi's chair was empty, Naruto's eyes widened and he growled. "WHERE THE HELL IS KAKASHI-SENSEI?"

_. . . . ._

Somewhere on the set of the show, underneath a tree with a book in hand, Kakashi sneezed and suddenly had the strangest feeling that a very pissed off teenager was ranting about him elsewhere.

Once he opened his book to the page he had left at earlier on and continued reading, he forgot this feeling entirely. Yay for distractions!

_. . . . ._

"It doesn't matter, Naruto." Sakura insisted as she glanced over at him from where she sat in a chair as pink as Cherry Blossoms. "Let's just hurry up with this stupid thing so I can get my paycheck for the week and return to my apartment. I have to make a living, you know."

"And I have to go angst in the corner." Sasuke added for no true reason at all. He just particularly felt like talking.

Naruto facepalmed but went along with it anyway and strolled up to the stage inbetween the two. Maybe they didn't even need Kakashi, he was so cool that he'd just slip out un-noticed in the end. He gestured for the camera man to take that abused machine and pan over to the three. Forcing a smile, he carried on nicely.

"Sorry, Kakashi fans, he's not here at the moment. But we've still got the original rookies I'm sure any of you still following the plot know about! Me included of course, 'cuz I AM the title character!" Sasuke and Sakura both sighed in annoyance and the camera man took the opportunity to look at his watch; he really wanted some lunch. "Please enjoy this short chat with Sasuke Uchiha, my best friend/worst enemy/maybe love interest, and Sakura Haruno, my friend/love interest/annoying bitch!" Naruto had rapidly spat out the last part of Sakura's description so that she would not hear and yell at him. And when the camera shifted over to the two old members of the original team, Sasuke reluctantly gave a quick wave and Sakura smiled sweetly and attempted to look cute.

"As you can see, they're dressed in their Shippuden outfits. I don't meet them much outside the set of the show due to being EXTREMELY BUSY with...uh...stuff...but I'm sure that you viewers would all like to know what the heck they wear when not here."

The camera man adjusted the camera to be tilted up and down as if someone was nodding. Sasuke had rolled his eyes at this stupid camera technique while Naruto and Sakura fell on their faces anime-style in the background and returned back to their original positions quickly.

"So what do you guys like to wear in your free-time away from the scenes of the show?" Naruto inquired very curiously, leaning forward and nearly staring into their frigging souls.

"I usually alternate between cute and frilly outfits to things like short tank tops, jeans, and sneakers." Replied Sakura with a thoughtful look as she tried to search for more detail in her head. Naruto, meanwhile, was beginning to drool at having a sudden fantasy of the pink-haired girl wearing aforementioned cute and frilly, VERY revealing outfits and Sasuke had noticed and mouthed something before tossing him a piece of tissue paper. "I don't want to look like a prostitute or anything, not like SOME PEOPLE I know. Oh...Capri pants! I love wearing cute and form-fitting Capri pants with a tee!"

Naruto very much approved her answer. Mostly because these fantasies of her wearing incredibly cute and revealing outfits came to mind and he was loving every minute of it. He then decided to move on to the stoic Sasuke beside him.

"Thank you for the fantasies-I MEAN ANSWERS, Sakura!" Naruto sputtered. Sakura's eyes had narrowed, and the camera man just coughed. "Now let's move on to Sasuke! Okay, tell us what your choice of clothing is off the set when the cameras stop rolling!"

Awaiting his answer, Naruto, Sakura, and even the camera man leaned forward with very big smiles and widening eyes. It almost disturbed Sasuke. And the only reason why these three idiots were so concerned about his response is because on set of the show, they're supposed to keep up being obsessed with his character to keep up the illusion.

"Well, I usually wear t-shirts with sayings like 'get out of my fucking face' and some with very Gothic patterns, either very ripped jeans or baggy pants, and I wear the same shoes I'm wearing right now...even though it's supposed to be just the clothing for the show. They're weird to walk in, but are surprisingly comfortable." Sasuke replied in a very flat tone without no emotion whatsoever. He was actually holding a nail-filer now and running it across his fingernails.

Naruto and Sakura just glanced at each other, neither at all surprised by his reaction. Seriously, how could they have not guessed that at all? And why did this moment suddenly call for a cartoon-ish 'wamp wamp waaaammp~' kinda sound effect?

_. . . . ._

Yamato didn't know why he was still hanging around the Shippuden set. They had finished filming a while ago and Kakashi had offered to get him some coffee to ease his tension off his shoulders and get his mind off all the drama that had happened in the aforementioned scene of the show. But he's been standing here behind the studio set for a while now and kept glancing back at his watch.

Then he finally noticed that a random camera man was standing beside him and running a camera. Yamato shifted his weight on his legs and lazily looked back at the man, whom gestured at the piece of technology and then himself.

"Say something, please. I'm getting paid for this." The man pleaded in a hushed tone, now clasping his hands together.

Yamato positioned the camera away and curiously gazed at the pathetic man. "Who's paying you?"

"Naruto. He's currently with that emo dude and the pink-haired violent chick on a different part of the studio behind the scenes. Apparently taking the viewers on a live view of what goes on."

Yamato sighed and the camera man took the piece of technology and shoved it back into his face. "Fine, fine. My name is Yamato and...I have way too much time on my hands at the moment and really want to kick Kakashi's ass right now."

The camera man just slowly shuffled away from the apparently coffee-obsessed Yamato.

_. . . . ._

"So, Naruto, we're ready for the rest of the interview." Sakura mentioned with an aggravated sigh. She just wanted to finish shooting the scenes and then leave to return back to her apartment. Naruto was making that an impossible dream. "Just shove the cameras back at us, please." Even though the camera man was still scared shitless from that earlier experience with her going crazy on him for bursting into her trailer with Naruto, he meekly nodded and did as he was instructed.

Naruto had other plans. He shifted between his 'friends' and placed a hand affectionately on either of their shoulders. "Actually, I thought we'd relieve all the good times that Team 7 had before all the trauma and drama of the start of Shippuden happened. Before Sasuke turned into a villain and we were all rookies trying to make it into the world!" Sakura and Sasuke blinked dumbly. "Don't give me that look."

"But I'm not ready." Sasuke protested, now running through his hair sexily on purpose knowing that he was making great fanservice for the fangirls watching. Even Naruto and the camera man had drooled a little at this. Well, Naruto was expected. BUT THE CAMERA MAN? "Now I'm ready."

"Oh, you and your fanservice moments! You aren't the only sexy male on this show!" Sakura argued, now glaring at him. It was a well known fact that behind the scenes of the show and reality, she had absolutely no romantic feelings toward the loner at all and hated having to suck it up and pretend she did when the cameras rolled.

"Yes I am. Look at the popularity polls." Sasuke countered, now reaching into hammerspace and pulling out a popularity poll that he had found online and printed it out for evidence.

"Those aren't based by looks alone, Sasuke. They're rated from a character's backstory, to personality, strength, jutsus, and intelligence and knowledge of the battlefield. Along with other valuable statistics." Sakura informed as she crossed her arms and beamed, proud with herself for knowing so much. "Let's see...other sexy males on this show would be: Kakashi, Yamato, Kiba, Neji, Gaara, Deidara, Sasori, Itachi, Sai, Pein, Minato, Shikamaru, Iruka, and-"

"Obito, Haku, Suigetsu, Shino, Mizuki, Idate even though he was just a filler dude, that one jinchuriki I forgot the name of, Hidan, Nagato, Yahiko, Madara from what I've seen in the fan art, did I mention Itachi? That guy Tsunade fell in love with when she was younger, Hayate, Kabuto, Izumo, Kotetsu, Kankuro according to the FEW fangirls, Sakon, myself, definitely Gaara, Kimimaro, and ect..." Naruto added thoughtfully, in admittedly in a gay-ish manner as he tried to remember all the hot guys of the show.

The camera man smiled meekly and turned to Sasuke, whom was rolling his eyes. Probably annoyed by this and wanting to go back to sitting in the emo corner. He just got OWNED and he knew it.

"Oh God, we're not getting anywhere at all!" Naruto finally announced tiredly as he realized what was going on. That him and Sakura were wasting the film in that camera by just going on and on about the hot male cast when the fans of their respected characters wanted more interaction between them all. He clasped a hand over Sakura's mouth, effectively shutting her up. And he grinned back into the camera being panned over to him. "Okay, everybody, now it's time for us to relieve moments that we used to have together in the beginning of the original series! Let's kick things off by bringing up the topic of...the time we all were training to climb trees by sending chakra to our feet and walking them! Yes, perfect!"

"But that's a waste of time." Sasuke mentioned very uninterested.

Naruto glared in his direction before mumbling, "So is this entire interview and look behind the scenes in general, but I'm not openly saying that to the fans, am I? Suck it up and play along, 'kay?"

The camera man rolled his eyes and looked at his watch. It would seem like it would be taking them forever to be getting to the good stuff. And it was apparent they were beginning to be running out of film and would have to travel all over the damned set just to get some more from the storage room...

_. . . . ._

**Elsewhere**

"Hey, I think they're done shooting the Akatsuki scenes." Pein mentioned to a random camera man that was still standing on the set with him. The man looked like he was lost or something, either that or he didn't know what the heck to do with his life. "You can...you can leave."

"Well I would, but Naruto insisted that I stay around and randomly follow around the cast and get them to say a line into the camera and then do a stereotypical action that the fans expect them to do." Was his response, a little shaky since Pein still scared the crap out of him especially with that intense music always following him around. "And...uh...I have four kids and my wife is very ill, so...yeah...I really want that bonus in my paycheck to support them all."

"That's a tragic story." Pein noted, a distant look in his eyes as he glanced around the very convincing, life-like set of the previous scene that was shot involving him and the other members sealing a best or something like that from the script. "And I'm guess that you want me to do the same?"

"It...it's fitting..." The nervous man stammered as soon as Pein's sharp and serious gaze fell on him. He felt like he was underneath a spotlight and a large crowd was waiting for him to screw the conversation with this guy up and piss him off. "So...would you please just say something for your several fangirls?"

"I have fangirls?"

"Nearly everyone in the _Aca-s-ke_-"

"It is pronounced a-kat-ski, I'm pretty sure, in your _American _tongue. Please, don't bother to pronounce the name in a fail manner like mostly every fan of this show does...if it should sound horrible and wrong, at least we can blame it on yourself alone."

"O-of course...everyone in the _A-kat-ski_ have multiple fangirls except for Kisame and Zetsu, the freaks."

Pein thought for a brief moment and then turned back to the scared camera man that was now figuring ways in his head that he could kill Naruto for forcing him to do this. "Hm, if it's for them...I suppose it wouldn't hurt." He then glanced into the camera, making sure to look sexy and mysterious for the fangirls watching. And it was a success, because fangirls of him everywhere that were tuning in to this chaos had fainted from the loss of blood gushing from their noses.

"Let's start off by...asking a question. Ummm...uhhh...in Naruto-"

"It is actually pronounced _Na-ru-toe _in Japanese. Not _Nar-u-toe_."

"..._NA-RU-TOE_, THEN. IS THIS WHOLE _A-KAT-SKI _THING JUST SOMETHING FOR THE SHOW, OR IS IT ACTUALLY REAL?" The camera man shouted unnecessarily, now feeling the overwhelming urge to punch Pein the face for all his 'helpful' tips of correct pronunciation.

"Actually, yes. I know it may be strange to believe now, everyone, but all of this is not fake. Secretly, we're all true ninja and these sets we have are actually real places in a faraway timeline. The only reason why all of us are here on this show as actors of ourselves is because we wanted a break away from all the chaos of our home timeline. And now, after hearing that some Japanese dude created this kind of world as a wildly popular anime phenomenon...we decided to attend the auditions of the cast for this live action show and here we are now. As ourselves. Which, if you think about it, makes much more sense in context." The camera man just stared for a long amount of time, wondering what the heck Pein was smoking and if it was possible he could get some of that himself.

Without uttering anything else, Pein spun around on his heels and walked away, grabbing one of his other nearby bodies of the Six Paths of Pain as it is supposedly called, and put him in his place. He then took his leave.

And the camera man just continued to stare as the other Pein started waving his hand in his colorless face, questioning whether to call an ambulance or an exorcist. Truthfully, the poor camera man's brain was short-circuiting, blown away, from where he had just gotten a case of mind rape.

_. . . . ._

**And With Naruto And Co.**

Sakura and the camera man stood on the sidelines of the stage and glanced back and forth at what insanity was unfolding between Naruto and Sasuke as they stood a distance in front of each other and glaring intensely.

"I'm telling you, I did learn to climb the tree before you! It wasn't just because I'm the epic main character and that Japanese dude whose name escapes me HAD to have me excel!"

"That's not true at all. He states he prefers ME."

"Well, EVERYONE in this show is obsessed with you for some crazy reason! That's why I got to be in the spotlight for once and you just can't get over it!"

"I should have been in the spotlight once again. I'm much more sexier and popular for a traitor, you know."

"Hmmph, look, I'm not going to respond to that comment about your looks and popularity! But I am going to say this: you're just being a big douche bag right now!"

"But he's always like that!" The camera man randomly commented. Sakura had rolled her eyes at him and then gave him a sharp punch to his shoulder for interrupting.

"I sometimes wonder how you ever got fans in the first place! And I wonder now why the heck I even bothered to hold this thing, because we aren't even talking about good times! We're only arguing!"

"Naruto, that's just your own fault."

"DOUCHE BAG!"

Sakura wasn't quite sure about how a simple interview and moment of peaceful reminiscing escalated into this...this back and forth argument that oddly seemed one-sided due to her assumed crush's lack of interest. All she knew was that they had started remembering how Sasuke had failed epically and humorously in climbing those trees by the use of Chakra at his feet. And that Naruto had also failed, but it was highly anticipated of him to do so because he was just an annoying twerp at the time.

Somehow, Naruto got ticked off and. Here we are now. With Naruto doing absolutely nothing productive accept repeatedly shouting "DOUCHE BAG!", "EMO PRICK THAT NOBODY CARES ABOUT", and a string of other insults that came to mind. While Sasuke took it all rather well and stood there once again running the nail file across his painted black nails.

She grabbed the camera from the man and turned it to her face. Into it, she smiled apologetically and then Sakura sighed deeply in frustration. "Well, it looks like you fans won't be getting any friendly reminiscing of the good times like you wanted. Actually, you're getting a time paradox." Insert nervous giggle after an intended pause. "But, I'm going to take over temporarily until they're done. Follow me, I'll show you some interesting things about the cast that you really want to know. You'll thank me for this later."

Sakura happily turned around and snapped a finger in the camera man's face, signaling for him to follow her. And so, the both of them decided to use the rest of the little bit of film they had left for something worthwhile. They silently walked away, and Naruto and Sasuke never once ended this useless argument to realize they were long gone.

Idiots.

Continued (...really...)

_. . . . ._

_**I'm very positive that this didn't make any sense. But, I'll admit, it was very fun to write. And believe it or: this actually amused me a little bit and made me crack a smile after having a crappy week! Ah, the power of some fanfiction crack is astounding, isn't it? LMAO.**_

_**May or may not continue writing any more chapters to this story. I'm just not really sure about the final decision yet. In your review, let me know what you think I should do; continue it or not. Okay? Thanks.**_

_**Well, read and review or else Pein will find you and start following you around and correcting your pronunciation! LOL! :P**_


	5. Sakura's Special Segment

Naruto: Behind The Scenes

Chapter Five: Sakura's Special Segment

_. . . . ._

**With Sakura**

_. . . . ._

"It's still on, right?" Sakura's curious voice asked, but she wasn't shown. All that could been seen was static and then a cut to the camera man's brown sneakers, and then to her thighs. Which gave a little unnecessary fanservice for the male fans watching. Then the camera was finally pointed at her face, and she beamed into it. "Good, now welcome back! When you last had an idea of what was going on, here behind the scenes of the show, Naruto had promised you all a simple reminiscing with me and Sasuke. Naturally, the two of them got into it though. So...I'm going to take advantage of the situation and give you a special segment of this behind the scene's look. Are you interested?" The rather young camera man grabbed a hold of the abused camera and had it be tilted up and down rapidly. And then it settled back on Sakura, zooming out from her face to see all of her. "Wonderful! Now follow me~"

Sakura started walking off down the halls, the camera man positioning the camera correctly and walking behind her slowly to make sure it didn't get blurry from the movement. They both passed by different props and discarded items left by the cast. And the occasional random camera man or director. But the walk wasn't all that interesting so far. Until the pink-haired heroine of the series stopped and suddenly rounded a much darker and narrow corner.

"I'm taking you all to the back dressing rooms we rarely use. This part of the special is what I am self-titling: _Sakura's Special Secret Revelations_. Meaning; I'm going to give you a look at some secrets of the cast that you probably don't know about!" Sakura stopped walking and turned, flashing a peace sign rather smugly. "First stop: Kakashi's dressing room. If he's not here...well...we'll move on to someone else, 'kay?"

And so, the camera man followed Sakura down the rest of this strange and narrow hall. They had rounded a lot more awkward corners and dusty and crowded separated halls. Which was insanely long. But at least they both were betting quite the work out! After all of this, plus stopping to regain their breath, and randomly pull out jugs of cold water from hammerspace, they noticed they were in front of Kakashi's dressing room.

Evident by the sign on the door that read: "_Kakashi's dressing room_", duh.

"Here we are at last!" Sakura glared when she realized the poor camera man was still lying pathetically on the floor from that Hell-ish walk down those halls and corridors. She grabbed the jug she had gotten courtesy of hammerspace and flicked open the cap, she then turned it upside down over the man. Very cold water cascaded from the container and soaked him to the bone, and he bolted up and shrieked in shock. "Get off the floor and get behind the camera, dammit! Do you want me to," A cold look crossed over Sakura's face as she cracked her knuckles loudly. "Kick your ass like I had to do earlier today in my trailer...?"

Eyes widening to impossible sizes, the camera man scurried up from the floor and grabbed the camera that didn't get wet, by some miracle, and he positioned it back at Sakura's now-beaming face. Jesus Christ, she was such a tsundere when she needed to be. A scary tsundere, that is.

_. . . . ._

**Elsewhere**

"DOUCHE BAG!"

"Okay, Naruto, you're just being a jackass now."

"DOUCHE BAG! IT'S TRUE, AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU LIVE AND BREATH THIS TERM, YOU ARE THIS TERM IN A NUTSHELL!"

"That made no sense at all."

"GOOD!"

"Stop yelling in all caps, it's very distracting and sloppy."

"AND NOW, NOT ONLY ARE YOU BEING A DOUCHE BAG THAT CAN'T STAND THE TITLE CHARACTER BEING IN THE FREAKING SPOTLIGHT FOR ONCE, NOW YOU MUST BREAK THE FRAGILE FOURTH WALL? WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO...? WHAT...?"

"...Um, chaos? Have you seen all the tsunamis that recently-"

"NOOOOO! STOP TALKING, I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER THAT!"

"...God, how long is this going to last? And where the hell is Sakura and that name-less camera man?"

_. . . . ._

**Sakura and Co.**

Sakura giggled girlishly and then raised her fist to the door, knocking on it. "Kakashi! Kakashi! I came to talk to you!"

Sakura had pounded on the door with her strong fist for about ten minutes. However, she never got a response. She knew somewhere deep down that this was useless, but she didn't want to disappoint the several Kakashi fans out there that were tuning in. Her intentions with these segments was to show secrets to some of the popular characters, not to waste what film her and the camera man had left by pounding a surprisingly tough door.

"Well, crap," Sakura turned and sighed heavily. "I wanted to show you an interesting secret of Kakashi's. We ALL know that he always wears a mask and is constantly reading his perverted trash, correct? The point of me coming to talk to him was so that I could reveal FINALLY, what's behind that mask and what's his reason for reading all that smut." The camera man's face fell dramatically. Poor guy, he must've been much more curious than what he was leading the cast to believe. "But I will not give up YET!"

The poor camera man suddenly got a bad deja vu kind of feeling. He closed his eyes and winced in memory as Sakura backed up, crushed her knuckles in a tight fist, and gathered insane amounts of chakra into it. Surging very violently within her fist, the chakra even became visible and was blinding the mute camera man.

And Sakura charged at the door, her fist roughly collided with it head on and...BOOM. The door totally shattered in multiple pieces and scattered literally everywhere; even South America (ohh, so that's random).

"And that, my viewers, is an example of how I don't take shit from anyone." Sakura bent over and smiled warmly and cutely into the camera, her eyes even closing. She looked so innocent. But the camera man knew not to fall for it at all; having seen her monstrous strength applied to the door just now with his own eyes! "Now then, let's enter Kakashi's DOOR-LESS dressing room and discover things, shall we?"

Sakura pressed her fingers to lips quietly saying 'shhhh', she then stood back up and gestured for the camera man to follow her. They both quietly slipped into Kakashi's dressing room and didn't seem to be at all concerned that their awesome background music from earlier (when Sakura pummeled the door) was totally gone. Which was random, might we add.

_. . . . ._

**Please Stand By**

Kankuro and Temari stood by a small little cart that contained cups of steaming coffee for the cast. The two were just chilling. Mainly exchanging words about how awesome they did on the acting for the scenes with being dramatic about their little brother getting kidnapped by Akatsuki members, or something like that.

"So, Kankuro, isn't it strange how Naruto is going around giving the cast a live viewing of what goes on around here behind the scenes?"

"I think it's just unfair. He hasn't even interviewed me yet! So many people act like I don't even exist, Temari! But I'll have all of you idiots out there know that I am SO EXISTING! What about the time I tried to tell Gaara off? What about how I was able to cheat on that test discreetly? What about the time I challenged a great puppet master like Sasori to a battle? Does absolutely none of that matter? DOES IT?"

Temari flinched in great disturbance by her brother's overrating. In fact, she had almost dropped her cup of black coffee. "We know that you exist. It's just that...well...me and Gaara are so overwhelmingly popular in comparison, duh." She smirked afterward as she took a long swig of the coffee. Her words were so true, and she knew it. Kankuro knew it. Everybody in the long cast knew it.

"It isn't fair." Kankuro murmured sadly, randomly tossing his coffee into hammerspace for later. "What would make me more popular as a character, sis?"

This was a tough question. Temari honestly didn't know how she could answer one like this. She tapped a finger against her chin in deep thought. She also quietly mouthed some of the lyrics to She's A Rebel by Green Day, just to be a little bit random. And maybe because she liked that particular song.

"Weeeeeell..." Kankuro leaned forward curiously. "Being a part of popular pairing usually does the trick. And since there are no truly popular Kankuro pairings...we'll have to make our own."

"What do you mean-" Without no warning whatsoever, Temari reached forward for Kankuro's shirt and roughly pulled him closer to her, their lips colliding in a very sloppy kiss. Their was so much desire put into it though, it was almost like one of those kissing scenes you see in the movies before the big scene in the bedroom (or, anywhere they're at, if it's a porno).

The camera man, watching, made sure to really zoom in with awesome camera affects. He felt like he would need such a cold shower after this though. And yet, he still was not sure whether or not Temari was truly enjoying the sudden kiss or not. Because she had planned this out so that they could establish a once-forgotten incest pairing.

_. . . . ._

**Sakura and Co.**

Sakura and the camera man sneaked into the dressing room, trying to be as silent as possible. They didn't want Kakashi to notice them after all, he would end up owning them in some way if he did. Because he was just that badass.

The dressing room was small, it contained a closet, a small bed, a table, and a...vanity table? Awkward. Anyway, the two intruders had to admit in low whispers that it was pretty well-kept unlike SOME PEOPLE'S dressing rooms. Although there was uneaten food on the table, the script for the next episodes to be shot on his bed with some ninja tools beside it, and there was a bunch of perverted books on porn on one shelf. As expected.

"Hmm." Sakura glanced around. "He isn't even in here at the moment. I must have miscalculated my plan. Um, sorry Kakashi fans out there." She flinched when she got the feeling that Kakashi fans out there tuning in were probably cussing her out and going batshit. But she couldn't help that.

But maybe they could still poke around in the room. They would need to be deathly silent though. Sakura knew from experience that Kakashi was a master at sneaking up on people when they least expect it! She still shivered to this day to even dare think about that filler episode when her, Naruto, and Sasuke tried to discover what was underneath his mysterious mask after all.

"Are you sure that this is a good idea?" The camera man whispered nervously, his fingers fumbling with the camera as he tried to hang onto it. Sakura, whom had been poking at the bottles of hair gel on the awkward vanity table, grimaced and clenched her fists before stomping towards him.

Saying nothing, Sakura raised a hand and slapped him. The camera man gasped out in pain and fell to the floor. The camera had gotten shots of the food on the table, Sakura's hand and chest, the ceiling, and the abused dude's face before it fell with a loud thud. "Get yourself together!"

Growling under his breath and bringing a hand to his stinging cheek, the camera guy stood back up and gave her a glare. She crossed her arms and then tapped her foot, and he suddenly remembered to get the camera and shove it back in her face.

"Now, everyone, we're going to find out what's so great about Kakashi's books right here and now. I don't know about you, but I have always wondered why he's so attached to them." Sakura smiled into the camera like an innocent child and reached for a random book on the shelf behind her. "I'm going to flip to a random page, read it aloud, and finally figure out the mystery!"

Apparently, Sakura didn't look at the title of said book. The abused camera man, on the contrary, did, and he turned a light shade of pink in the face before quietly whispering that maybe she shouldn't do it.

It's too bad that Sakura was stubborn and ignored the dude. She cleared her throat, flipped to a totally random page, and started reading.

"_...And so they pressed their lips firmly to each others'. The entire world around them, the snowstorm outside the small home completely ignored. Their naked bodies nearly fused together, radiating heat. Her fingers trailed up and down the large breasts of her partner, ready to-_" The words died instantly on Sakura's lips as she realized what kind of book she was reading. Her wide eyes silently reading over the next parts and the next few pages, a dark red color stained her face. Not out of total rage, there was mortification mixed in there too. The camera man even was beside her reading the book to himself, a deep blush staining his cheeks and a trickle of blood beginning to run down from his nose.

"Are you two enjoying the story?" Sakura and the camera man both let out shocked cries and turned to look at each other, like dears in the headlights, before whirling around to see Kakashi standing there watching them questioningly.

"Ah...um...w-we..."

"Yes?"

Sakura instantly bolted out of the door, the camera man closely behind her with the camera. Their special part of their segment totally forgotten. Kakashi, meanwhile, had just sighed because his former student had forgotten to give him back the book. Must be a closet Girl's Love fan, he assumed.

_. . . . ._

**Please Stand By**

Yamato sighed irritatedly and paced the set. He was so pissed off about not getting his coffee. Absolutely nothing else in the world mattered until he got the delicious caffeine-filled beverage.

He didn't even notice Naruto and Sasuke pass by, both holding weapons and items that were necessary for torture. You know. Things like handcuffs, kunai and shuriken, exploding tags, medieval weapons, Justin Timberlake albums, and (for some strange reason) lubricant.

Of course, seeing that these two were carrying items, Yamato ended up noticing them. He called out to them before they could make it too far away. And seeing that he was looking irritated, Naruto and Sasuke knew that they should obey and walk over to him. He was a monster when he didn't have any coffee after all. And they DID NOT need a repeat of that one incident at the beach when they all went out to shoot some scenes for one of the movies.

"What are you two still doing here at the set? And why are you carrying all those things?" Yamato asked nosily, pointing at the items and weapons in the two rivals/friends' hands.

"We're plotting..." Naruto insisted, frowning when Yamato leaned over and pulled out the handcuffs.

"Is that what you call it?" Yamato inquired tonelessly, twirling the handcuffs around his finger.

Naruto and Sasuke gawked at each other, stunned as hell by what he had just said. "W-what are you trying to IMPLY?"

Yamato said nothing else.

_. . . . ._

**Later; after much frantic running, drinking water, and taking deep breaths with Sakura and Co.**

Sakura and the camera man didn't know where they were on the set of the show. They even confessed to the viewers watching them run like maniacs via the camera that they didn't! But they just knew that they had to get away from Kakashi as soon as possible, because he had just caught them red-handed reading some porn between women. Haven't they both suffered enough? No? Yes?

Since the camera wasn't positioned on Sakura and in some random direction, and her and the camera man's rough and hoarse panting was the only thing that could be heard, it actually did sound there was off-screen porn scene happening. But neither took this into account and the camera was finally turned back to the pink-haired actress.

"Damn it, we ran for HOURS!" Sakura managed to comment through her deep breathing.

"But we only ran-"

"No one cares!"

Sakura pulled herself and the camera man up from the ground and she glanced around. She noted that they were further onto the set of the show behind the scenes, where a lot of the trailers were located. And they were both positioned right in front of Kiba's trailer. How convenient.

"Isn't this Kiba's-"

"Stop talking, you're killing the illusion!" Sakura turned and smiled. "Yes, this would be Kiba's trailer. I bet he's still inside, fangirls, the next scene he's supposed to be a main part of won't be starting for another twenty-three minutes anyway. I'm going to move on to the NEXT part of my segment; revealing things about more minor characters that you probably don't know."

Quietly, Sakura reached behind her into hammerspace and pulled out a kunai. She sneaked up to the lock on the trailer and thrust the weapon straight into the metal. With a clatter, it soon fell to the ground and she grinned wickedly. It scared the camera man, and over half the fans tuning in, shitless. "Now be deathly quiet, and I'll give you fangirls out there watching live a brief little fanservice treat." She made a 'shussh' motion and then reached for the knob and pulled it.

The door opened and Sakura pressed her body against one of the outer sides of the trailer. The abused camera man pressed himself against the other side and pointed the camera into the open doorway before briefly setting it back on a now deeply turned on Sakura.

And he had a pretty good idea of why this scene they were witnessing inside the trailer turned her, and probably lots of other fangirls tuning in, on.

You see, the two just happened to walk in on a bit of a steamy make-out session between Kiba and Shino. The two must haven't been at it long, due to the fact that the clothes were just beginning to fly off. Kiba sat on the small table in the center of the room very roughly and wildly kissing Shino whom was on his lap and digging his nails into the back of his neck.

The camera man's eyes widened, and he suddenly felt extremely awkward for thinking that this scene actually looked pretty damn arousing (cough, closet yaoi fanboy, cough). Sakura, meanwhile, was covering her mouth to prevent herself from exploding with squeels and cheers. A trickle of blood began to drip from her nose as well.

Hey, there's always got to be moments of fanservice. Without it, you have to admit that life would suck. The closet yaoi fangirl...and boy...wanted to stand there longer and catch this all to broadcast live and be famous for it, but then Kiba and Shino suddenly took notice to the two voyeurs and quickly separated in shock.

"**WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?**" Kiba had yelled, Sakura and the camera man quickly snapped out of their Boy Love fantasies and stared with comical terrified expressions.

"Run...just run!" Sakura shrieked and turned to run away, the camera man wasn't far behind her. They ran so fast that Kiba and Shino were honestly surprised that the ground underneath them didn't randomly combust!

_. . . . ._

**Please Stand By (Again)**

Naruto and Sasuke still wandered the set of the show. They were getting tired, but continued with whatever determination they had left that still burned. A long time ago, they had gotten rid of all their weapons and torture items when Yamato had confronted them and came to the conclusion that they were about to go have some sadistic sex.

They just had no frigging clue WHERE Sakura and that name-less camera dude could be! Due to the set of this show being huge and separated for dressing rooms, trailers, and totally realistic sets, they could be anywhere. But Sakura had pink hair and the camera guy was of average height and was severely beaten; so surely they MUST stand out!

_. . . . ._

**Sakura And Co.**

Since the couldn't get a special interview from Kakashi, or a good look at the awesome yaoi fanservice moment, Sakura and the camera man both sulked along the set of the show around the hospital where some of the show's creepiest, funniest, and dramatic scenes would occur from time to time.

It totally could be passed off as a real hospital. The set was highly impressive, to say the least. Sakura and the camera man very much doubted that they would be running into any of the cast here, but they figured it wouldn't hurt to try.

"Okay, um, this part of my segment will be totally thought up on my feet." Sakura informed the fans tuning in live as she smiled in a very cheesy manner into the camera that would soon run out of film. "Whoever catches my eye first will be the topic of a special interview. Naruto is the one who has the blooper reals on hand, so there won't be any of those shown. But I'm going to pry in and dig up good details for all of you great fans!"

So Sakura and the camera man waited pathetically. They stood there in the halls of the set of the village's hospital and scanned them like hawks for any sign of human existence. They noticed one of the doors open and two people step out. The pink-haired actress was the first to react with a happy gasp.

"AHA! It's Lee and Gaara!"

In fact, Sakura was correct with that observation. Rock Lee and Gaara were standing there in the hall staring in surprise by the fact that the pink-haired actress was stalking the halls with the camera man. The two were dressed properly in their pre-time skip clothes and were glancing at each other in confusion.

"Oh hello, Sakura." Lee greeted casually, smiling now at this point as Sakura slipped up between the two and affectionately put arms around their shoulders. Which severely creeped out the camera man and Gaara a lot.

"What are you two doing on the Konoha hospital set?"

"We were just collecting our things after having finished shooting the whole 'Gaara attempts to kill Lee in his sleep while he is in the hospital crippled' scene. I am glad to see you though."

Gaara sighed and gave the camera man a knowing glance. "He always is." And into the camera he shook his head, not knowing that he was just making great fanservice for the female fans watching. "I'm sure that all you fans watching know why, don't you?" The camera man tilted the camera up and down, as if nodding. Which totally broke the remainder of the fourth wall for the tuning in viewers.

"Naruto was previously going around and interviewing everyone...but I decided to take over and give the viewers a special segment while he's arguing with the 'emo prick', in his own words. My intentions here is to give everyone some special interviews and reveal secrets, with fanservice mixed in." Sakura rocked back and forth on the heels of her feet and cutely smiled at Lee, hoping to really distract him. And it was working well. "Would you two like to be my next part of the segment...?"

"I would love to, Sakura! And Gaara will as well!" Gaara glanced over at Lee in irritation, he really didn't want to be a part of this nonsense. Especially not after Naruto's little surprise interview.

Happy with her response, Sakura choked down a girl-ish squeel and then looked back into the camera that was set on her, Lee, and Gaara all standing close to each other. The camera man was even ignored when he tried to speak up and tell the pink-haired actress that they were almost out of film any moment now.

"Now, let the interview begin!" Sakura reached into hammerspace for some confetti and then pulled a random move and threw it into the air. Just to be dazzling for the fanboys, she knew that there had to be a little bit of the female fanservice just as well as the male to keep both genders watching glued to their seats with enormous nosebleeds. "First question: what is your favorite openings or endings of the show? Personally, I loved 'Blue Bird' the best, or whatever the hell it was called!"

Lee and Gaara thought momentarily, trying not to take too long because apparently from the camera guy's frantic throat-cutting gestures behind the piece of technology, they were about to be outta film.

"Mine would have to be...'Fighting Dreamers', it really pumps me up as to even hear someone singing the lyrics! 'Remember' was good as well!"

"I like 'Closer' and 'No Boy No Cry', or whatever they were called." The camera man had nodded in approval of Gaara's answer. And he even played a little air guitar behind the camera as he started jamming out to 'No Boy No Cry' in his inner mind theater.

"Okay, next question, your favorite fight in the show?" Sakura thought for a brief minute and sighed contently as she recalled a memory. "Personally, my favorite was me and Chiyo against Sasori. I liked being in the spotlight...after at least eight friggin' seasons of shouting 'Sasuke!' over and over again like a ten minute Youtube video challenge!"

This was a tough question. But after a lot of consideration, Gaara and Lee responded.

"Sakura and Chiyo against Sasori was amazing. But I think I liked Naruto against Gaara." Lee replied, Sakura nodded contently at this.

"My favorite was Sasuke against Deidara." Sakura, Lee, and the camera man all frowned at Gaara's answer. To be fair: they all honestly thought that he'd say his favorite fight was either himself against Lee or (strangely) Kakashi against Kakuzu. "Because the blonde bitch got what was coming to him." Sakura and Lee instantly beamed, as they were proud of Sasuke's victory. But the camera man still frowned because Deidara was his personal favorite character and because Sasuke was repulsive to him.

"And what are your favorite couples the fans come up with in fanfiction?" Sakura asked totally casually, now filing her fingernails and still smiling while the boys thought briefly very hard about this topic. "To be honest here, I am completely in love with Naruto/Sasuke, Naruto/Sai, Itachi/Kisame, and Kiba/Shino~! Teehee~!"

"Oh, well," Lee actually looked so adorable while considering this topic, and Gaara quickly informed Sakura that it would make great fanservice for his female fans (I would know that he has female fans, personally, I am one myself~), and Sakura agreed with him and quickly summoned the camera guy to pan over to him for fanservice purposes. "Hmm. You know, it does not matter to me. I practically support every pairing." At his innocent answer, Sakura, the camera man, and even Gaara stared whilst paling dramatically and then turning to stone while he looked on in confusion.

Once recovering from the horrible shock that was Lee's answer, Gaara composed himself and looked into the camera all mysterious and sexy-like. Which Sakura and Lee, even the camera man all approved that one true fact. "It doesn't matter to me about the pairings. Although I do sometimes read a good Naruto/Sakura or a Sasori/Deidara fanfiction at night when I can't sleep."

Sakura looked back and forth at the two guys and put her hands on her hips, feeling highly accomplished. Unfortunately, the camera man had just mentioned that they were nearly out of film. This segment would be coming to an end soon, sadly. "Last question you two: will you make out for fanservice purposes...?" At this, a large and overly-dramatic smile made it's way onto Sakura's face. Nearly taking it up entirely.

Gaara and Lee just stared at each other with extremely blank looks. Sakura hoped that she would receive her much-anticipated answer soon...yes...come on...don't leave the yaoi fans hanging on the edge of a steep cliff...

But sadly, Naruto and Sasuke charged into the scene and attacked the camera. It happened so fast and was extremely shocking! The camera was thrown all around and all that could be seen in the next several minutes was in the following order: Naruto's angry face, Sasuke's chokuto sword that was sparking with blue lightning, the camera man's shocked face, Sakura's chest; then her fists, Gaara summoning some sand, the aforementioned sand wrapping around Sasuke's throat and him struggling to get out of it's hold, Lee kicking the crap out of the camera man accidentally, and then everyone getting mixed up in a dust cloud and getting into a very random and all-out brawl. Somehow, the camera was thrown to the corner of the hall and was pointing up at the ceiling with the lights hanging overhead. This is what could heard after that:

"DIE! DIE! DIE!"

"HOW DARE YOU STEAL MY BEHIND THE SCENES SHOW AND CAMERA MAN, SAKURA!"

"You're messing up my hair with your goddamn sand! Oh, you're so going to Hell!"

"..."

"I NEVER EVEN WANTED TO BE A CAMERA MAN ANYWAY! OH, FUCK MY LIFE...!"

Very randomly, Yamato peaked in from an open doorway of one of the nearby hospital rooms, happily sipping some of his fresh coffee that he finally received. He noticed everyone fighting inside of the dust cloud of censorship and then sighed deeply and set the cup down before walking over to the camera and looking into it.

"Well, it looks like the camera's just about to run out of film and everyone else is in the middle of a random and highly unnecessary street-fight, so it looks like I'll have to be the one to wrap Sakura's segment up." Yamato grabbed the camera and held it out pointing at him. He actually looked rather cheerful since drinking his much-loved coffee. "Thanks for being such good fans and tuning in. I'm sure that with Naruto around, there will be much more looks behind the scenes and plenty of insanity to follow. As soon as we can go out and get some more film for the camera, we'll be back soon!"

The last thing seen was Yamato waving, before everything went blank due to lack of useable film in the camera.

Continued...Maybe...

_. . . . ._

**Ending AN: It just keeps getting weirder and weirder, but it's safe to say that I regret nothing at all. In fact, I had totally forgotten about how fun it is to write the chapters to this story. ^^ Surprisingly, writing them is fun and lets me escape from my stressful life. Hey, maybe this story will actually be complete one day after all!**

**Hope you enjoyed Sakura's insane...special segment! Next chapter; Naruto is back hogging the spotlight and will be bugging some of the jounin and trying to succeed in giving a little fanservice between the lines as well! God, help us all...**

**Read and review, because Yamato's coffee was just taken away from him and he will give you THAT LOOK until you obey! ;P**


	6. Chapter 6

**Naruto: Behind The Scenes**

**Chapter Six: SPEED INTERVIEWING: Yamato Is Unlucky, Asuma Is Missing, Gai Needs Screentime, Kurenai Writes Yaoi, And Kakashi Has A Big WHAT? (A.K.A: That-one-chapter-with-the-insanely-long-title)**

**(Disclaimer: Naruto will never be mine.) ~MidnightSakuraBlossom18**

_. . . . ._

**With Naruto And Co.**

"Damn it, that film was very expensive!"

"Sorry, Naruto, I just wanted to give the fans some special looks behind the scenes and some well-deserved FANSERVICE!"

"Sakura, I'm not mad at you...really...st-stop clenching your fists and having them surge violently with insane amounts of chakra...it's okay, really..."

"Hmmph."

The camera man, having just finished positioning the camera back onto Sakura and Naruto in the dark and narrow hallway that they had once been running for their lives through, begun to cower and shake in his shoes when he noticed that the pink-haired actress was once again pissed off.

It had taken them a while to get some more film for the camera. After getting into a street fight, Gaara and Lee had managed to sneak away with Sasuke. And nobody even know where the hell Yamato had gone after finally getting his much-loved coffee. So this left Naruto, Sakura, and the abused camera guy to run out and get it. But hopefully, everything would be calming down now.

That was sarcasm, in case you didn't get it. Because things are never calm around the set of Naruto and Naruto Shippuden, which is what is being revealed to the obsessive public as we speak.

"You know, the fans will want to stick around longer if you give them fanservice in your interviews and...whatnot." The camera man suggested nervously, hoping that this would succeed in getting rid of this awkward silence. But it only worsened when Naruto and Sakura glared at him, he squeaked in a very unmanly way and focused the camera back to the two of them.

"He has a point." Sakura noted after an extremely long and agonizing silence. She smiled a little and hoped this would reassure Naruto. In this case, it probably wouldn't. "Fanservice keeps the fans tuning in and filling the room with massive nosebleeds."

"But nobody has that much blood in their bodies..." The camera man meekly pointed out as he forced an oblivious smile. He was literally praying that he wouldn't get glared at again. Naruto and Sakura, they were monsters when they get pissed.

"Yeah, they do. Haven't you seen Elfen Lied...?" Naruto countered, sighing in frustration and folding his arms over his chest. He really hated it when he had to be the smart one. It was so out of character, if you know what I mean.

Sakura snorted and then looked back and forth between Naruto and the camera man, a very deadpan-ish look on her face. "I'm guessing you both must have seen Elfen Lied. Probably due to the female main character being totally naked in the first episode, other episodes, and the opening and closing song and there's tons of close-ups."

"Fuuuuu-that isn't true...!" Naruto insisted, now wildly waving his hands around and sputtering gibberish nonsensical things. Sakura didn't buy this crap, not after seeing his and the camera guy's face rapidly turn a bright shade of red and practically be steaming. She sighed heavily and then facepalmed.

But oh well. It is better that they were talking Elfen Lied then something like...pfft, Pokemon.

_. . . . ._

**Please Stand By**

"Can someone remind me WHY I even bothered to do this?"

"Because you lost the bet. And besides, the fans want fanservice and you're perfect for this with your gorgeous silky hair." The female camera person replied, trying to hide the amusement in her slow and lazy voice as she fixed the camera on Itachi. The man was standing there in front of one of those green screen things and a bucket of water waiting to fall was positioned above him. He stood there shirtless in only a pair of tight blue pants, his hair was removed from it's usual style and flowing freely around his shoulders, chest, and back, and he had chains on his hands and around his waist (they were props).

"I should have known better than to make bets with Kisame." Itachi bitterly noted, his eyes slanting with anger and set his gaze on the aroused camera girl. "We made a bet that I would have to be a fanservice scene for the fangirls tuning into this idiotic behind the scenes look of the show if I couldn't prove that Red Bull doesn't really give you wings..."

"So...the result?"

"...When Deidara chugged down some of the Red Bull for the first time ever, he went crazy and started eating some of his own clay. When he did that, well, he made it explode and then he supposedly died. But his soul flew up into the air with a huge pair of angel wings and a halo around it's head, it was grinning like an idiot and flashing a peace sign while laughing. And me and Kisame left shortly after that, but we just assumed that he went straight to Heaven to be judged."

"I thought he was an atheist?"

"Yes. He is. So his wings are probably being ripped off right now and he's burning somewhere in the depths of Hell."

The camera girl just stared blankly, now severely unamused. But she remained aroused though, seeing as she got to see Itachi shirtless and in a rather suggestive pose. So, well, she could drink some Red Bull, die, be sent to whatever god existed out there on a pair of angel wings, and then be judged for all the shit she did in her entire life of nineteen years and join Deidara in Hell.

_. . . . ._

**Naruto**

"I'm sorry about that delay, everyone!" Naruto apologized as he walked backwards out of the narrow corner with the camera fixated on him entirely as he did so. This provided good fanservice for some of the female fans tuning in because he looked kind of brooding and sexy underneath this dark light and smirk. "Hope you enjoyed the little segment that Sakura gave you. Now, I'm back in control and am going to return to showing some secrets and interviewing the cast! Also, fanservice DOES make the world revolve; so I'm also going to give you fanservice for both the guys and ladies!"

The camera guy blinked repeatedly, but still followed a tiny distance behind Naruto with the camera. "Um...but doesn't the axis do that-"

"Be quiet!" Naruto sighed and then went back to grinning into the poor, abused camera that's been through too much. "Now, I was thinking about trying out SPEED INTERVIEWING the jounin that you all like and probably really know like the back of your hand by now! So follow me and let's depart!"

Shrugging his shoulders in defeat, the camera man departed from the scene along with Naruto. Yet he couldn't help but get this feeling...a strange feeling. Like something was telling him that things were about to get very crazy. Crazier than they had been before. But he couldn't help but silently admit that he wouldn't rather be doing anything else today than working as the camera man for Naruto.

Despite all the verbal, mental, and physical abuse he was suffering, it was totally worth it.

For what seemed like several gruesome months, Naruto and the camera man wandered through the set until they came across a mysterious door and went into the room behind it. Once inside, a random rope descended from the ceiling conveniently-placed by the self-proclaimed star of the show. It was pulled tightly and then the lights brightly shined through the thick darkness and it temporarily blinded the poor camera man; whom screamed like a girl and fell backwards against the wall shielding his eyes.

Naruto had been prepared, and he whipped out a pair of black sunglasses from his pocket and put them over his eyes. See, after having to come into this room to shoot scenes, the cast was used to it. But the poor camera man...tsk tsk...he was still blinded and breathing in agony.

Seeing that the guy was down, Naruto grabbed the camera and positioned it shabbily in front of his face, smiling knowing that this up-close shot was probably making great fanservice for his groups of fangirls tuning in. "Sorry about the bright lights everyone. But we are on the back-up set of Konoha; this room is freakin' HUGE and the set is very realistic thinks to the awesome workers that we threatened-_cough_, _choke_, I mean GATHERED to work on it! And this is a special shout-out to all of you! When we can't get to the actual place just a little distance away from this building to shoot the needed scenes of the village, maybe due to all the traveling and weather, we just do it here." The lights finally faded away and the camera man's vision returned and Naruto shoved the camera back into his hands. "Now, this is where we're going to hopefully find the jounin. I was thinking maybe we could speed interview Asuma first."

So the camera man followed Naruto around the very, very realistic set. They had gone into buildings and everything, but they never found a trace of Asuma anywhere, they didn't at least smell any smoke either. It would seem like the entire HUGE indoor set of Konoha was deserted except for them. Well, Naruto wasn't about to give up that easily; he decided to speed interview that man first, and he would do it, dammit!

Finally, after making it to the very realistic training grounds complete with real trees and plants and an actual river, the camera man was practically crawling and rolling the camera on a cart with one hand that was positioned at Naruto, whom was walking along and not even breaking a sweat! And they found themselves face-to-face with Shikamaru, whom backed up a little in confusion and caution when he noticed the camera guy was sweating extremely and practically choking to death as he held the camera positioned at him.

"Naruto..." Shikamaru finally said, now tossing a random ice cold to the camera man, whom caught it without hesitation and started wiping his skin. "What are you doing with that guy and the camera?"

"Giving the fans tuning in a special look behind the scenes of the show, duh!" Naruto ran over to Shikamaru and threw an arm around his shoulder in an unusually-overly-friendly manner as he grinned. "Not to mention that, by Sakura's implications that really convinced me, I decided to throw in the occasional fanservice moment. I wasn't thinking about interviewing you yet, sooo, you can at least answer a question and then do something sexy – like taking your shirt off and posing suggestively –?"

"I'm ignoring that last part." Shikamaru mentioned dully, slipping out of Naruto's hold and causing him to pout and crush the hopes of about several horny girls and fanboys tuning in. "But what's the question?"

"Well, have you seen Asuma anywhere around?" Naruto asked casually, not taking notice to the fact that the camera man was still aiming the camera at the two of them, but he was zooming it in and out crazily for no reason at all due to the fact that he was now cooled off and feeling reborn. Most of the shots were at this point, either fuzzy face or crotch shots. But it, at least, made for awesomely unintentional fanservice.

"Actually, I haven't seen him anywhere. Me, Ino, and Chouji, we were supposed to gather for the flashback scene when he gives us earrings (or something like that), but we haven't seen him and decided to split and check the set of Konoha." He released an exhausted sigh. "It's troublesome, really. No one has even SEEN the man in about four weeks, the directors are starting to think that he wants to be fired...but the are ridiculous rumors spreading among the cast that he just went missing. In the event he did go missing; let me just say that I solely blame Kakuzu."

"FFFFFFFFFFFF-that really sucks!" Naruto whined, now crashing down to the ground. The camera guy and Shikamaru had both glanced at him, mentally giving themselves pats on the back for never loosing their cool like he does. "I wanted to SPEED INTERVIEW him first because he's so kickass awesome!"

"He must be." The camera guy noted under his breath, nobody hear him though. "To have not gotten killed off by the creator until around the third story arc of the second series; that's badass..."

"He is badass." Shikamaru agreed casually. Naruto had just glared at the camera man for speaking and breaking the illusion.

His anger finally subsiding, after at least thirty-five seconds, Naruto turned the camera and his attention back to Shikamaru, whom now wondering deeply why he was still here when it was clear that Asuma was not even here. "Sorry Asuma fans, but it looks like he's going to have to be skipped. We're going to move on to Kurenai next, so I hope that is okay with you." He then grinned impishly. "Shikamaru, will you fill the time by stripping for fanservice purposes?"

Shikamaru just stared blankly, not even showing the least bit of reaction. And with the increasing, tense silence where anything could happen, the silent camera guy found himself itching with suspense about whether or not Shikamaru would do it (he's not gay, really. He is just something of a fanboy).

_. . . . ._

**Please Stand By**

"Why don't I have any fangirls?" The white half of Zetsu asked Tobi very randomly as the two leaned against the outside of the indoor and totally realistic set of the Akatsuki base. "Pretty much everyone in the Akatsuki does except me and, well, Kisame. I bet even Konan as her fanboys."

"**Even YOU have fangirls, Tobi. That is just fucked up.**" The dark, bolder half of Zetsu pointed out harshly. But the mysterious masked Akatsuki just laughed it off as usual, because he was so used to it.

Tobi thought for a moment, very deeply, before giving Zetsu his much-awaited response to this sudden question. "The fangirls think Tobi is cute, that's why. But, Zetsu, don't feel sad because of this; Kisame has none either because he looks so much like a shark."

"What the hell did you just call me?" Zetsu and Tobi both tensed up at hearing this voice. No mistake, it belonged to the aforementioned shark man that was being used as an example. Both not wanting to get caught in his 'I AM MOT A SHARK' rampage again, they both quickly ran off in a blur of green, black, white, orange, and red.

The camera person that was hiding chuckled to herself as she filmed Kisame chasing Tobi and Zetsu around like a complete retard. She WAS going to maker her presence known to the guys and say a stereotypical line into the camera for her, being forced by the title character to do this after all.

But she thought that giving the fans a look at the badass Akatsuki members goofing off and acting like idiots felt better. And she herself was laughing her ass off as she watched it all.

_. . . . ._

**Naruto**

So Naruto and the camera man trudged back the way they came from, their clothes and hair soaked thoroughly from having Shikamaru possess them with that shadow jutsu whatever-the-hell-he-calls-it and force them to jump into the real river against their will. But if you think about it, they got what was coming to them for annoying the crap outta everyone today.

Always is there a silver lining (oh, that's fail grammar...): The camera didn't get the least bit soaked from the two large cannonballs into the river! So there was absolutely no delays for the title character to hog back up the spotlight and the supposedly-mute camera guy to shove the abused camera back into his face. Which knowingly made good fanservice for his female fans that sighed and swooned at every shot they could get of him; the fact that he was wringing wet made it all the more better!

Since they didn't get to SPEED INTERVIEW Asuma, and Shikamaru refused to join in on the fun and be interviewed, have bloopers revealed to the public, or AT LEAST take off his shirt and make his fangirls erupt nosebleeds and squeel until they keeled over! Now they decided to SPEED INTERVIEW Kurenai, so far the only female jounin that was actually physically attractive and got into at least one fight and revealed awesome jutsu up her sleeve.

Off the went to find Kurenai. Naruto suggested that they check the obvious place where she would most likely be; her personal trailer. Before they went on their way, he frantically asked the camera man about how much film they still had left; and was a huge weight was lifted off his shoulder when he was told that they still had enough to last at least another hour or two. They had PLENTY of time, as long as nothing chaotic happened and jacked up the poor camera again.

After some very long walking through the very realistic set of Konoha, the duo took many sudden twists and turns, back-tracked, and even had to shimmy their ways through some tight spots. But their journey came to fortunate and miraculous end when the titular character announced they were finally at the trailer behind the scenes.

Now in the present time, they stood by each other with idiotic smiles plastered to their faces as they took in the sight of the small trailer; which looked just about the same as any other trailer, mind you. And there was absolutely no reason to be flabbergasted or anything dumb like that.

"Hey, shove the camera back to me!" Immediately, the camera turned to Naruto. He grinned and then started to make his way towards the front door of the tiny trailer. "Okay all you awesome fans watching from...wherever the hell you live, it's time for us to SPEED INTERVIEW Kurenai! I may have failed you with her boyfriend, Asuma, but I promise you action and fanservice for the horny guys and...possible lesbians! Okay, watch as I barge right in and scare the crap out of her!"

The camera guy's eyes widened and he decided that this moment called for one of those moments in annihilating the delicate and decaying forth wall that separated them all. He turned the camera he was holding and let the viewers get a glimpse of his extremely freaked expression.

"No need to be so frightened." Naruto reminded the viewers tuning in as he materialized behind the camera man and grinned. "To save her from a possible heart attack, and a random and senselessly brutal punch to my SEXY features (cue flowery background with sparkles), I'll just be a NORMAL person and knock on the door!"

An aggravated sigh passed Naruto's lips as he sulked up to the trailer door and raised a fist to knock on it. He found that this was really degrading and just plain wrong. Look, he was literally an actual ninja pretending to be a regular dude so that he could play the role of one (mind screw!)

So they waited for a few moments, with random elevator music playing in the background. And at long last, the door opened and Kurenai stepped out. Her long black hair was tied back in a long ponytail and she was wearing casual clothes since she didn't have any scenes to shoot. She took one glance at Naruto and then the smiling young camera man beside him and rose a brow.

"I don't think I have any scenes to appear in..." Kurenai muttered to herself as she grabbed her nearby script and started skimming through.

"Actually, Kurenai, I have decided to host a special behind the scenes look of the show via THIS camera," Naruto paused dramatically and turned to smile into aforementioned camera. Promptly, after uncharacteristically realizing how dumb that was, turned back to face the perplexed actress. "I've already interviewed a few members of the cast, and that guy in the orange mask took over once and gave a look at the Akatsuki, Sakura took over to hold a special segment with fanservice included, and I have at least three other camera guys and girls sneaking around the set and giving glimpses of random characters between each stand by!"

"And what are you doing now, Naruto?"

"SPEED INTERVIEWING the famous Jounin! I wanted to do Asuma first...but he's missing and no one can find him-"

Cutting Naruto off effectively, Kurenai sighed wistfully. "I hope someone can find Asuma."

"Me too..." Naruto agreed. Suddenly, he took a quick glimpse at his watch and nearly freaked out, getting back to the original topic. "The point is: you're next on the list~! So, let's cut right to the chase and SPEED INTERVIEW you before we run out of film!"

Once Naruto has an idea in mind, you cannot escape your fate. Kurenai gave herself a mental facepalm, but accepted the offer and gave the younger ninja and the camera guy that wasn't much older than him permission to come into her trailer with her for the SPEED INTERVIEW (why is it written in all caps, anyway?).

_. . . . ._

Kurenai's trailer was very orderly and had a bed, wardrobe, make-up table, and a small table in the center, she also had paintings and potted plants around for decoration. She sat on the edge of her bed beside Naruto while the camera man stood a little distance away and positioned the camera on them clearly.

"So, Kurenai, let's begin the SPEED INTERVIEW. We all know that you're one of the main jounin and the sensei to Kiba, Shino, and Hinata. You haven't been in many fights, but has been revealed that you do have mentally kickass genjustu tricks up your sleeve on at least one canon occasion and a few more non-important filler occasions." Naruto recapped knowingly, to the viewers watching: he may be smart for once. But the camera guy and Kurenai both knew that he was really had just taken a look back at old scripts for the show and desperately had memorized them. "In this interview, I'm going to ask you a series of quick questions and you'll answer them truthfully without stalling. GO!" Kurenai blinked at this, thinking that it was one of the stupidest things she had ever heard in her life. But she had to humor him along...

"What's your favorite color?"

"Red."

"Why are your eyes red, if you don't have the Sharingan?"

"I think that you only asked me that question because you're just curious yourself."

"...Maybe...anyway! What's your favorite Naruto opening?"

"Blue Bird."

"Will you take off your clothes and pose sexily for the male viewers that are tuning in?"

"NO." The camera man's face fell in total disappointment at her answer.

"What's your main hobby?"

"Writing yaoi."

Naruto smiled happily. "Okay, thanks for answering the...wait..." He just then realized what her answer to the last question was. And he turned and stared at her in horror. "YOU WRITE YAOI?" The camera man performed a double-take, personally, he preferred Yuri. But that was him.

"Is there a problem with that?" Kurenai pressed curiously, a teasing smile tugging at her lips as she watched Naruto's mind get screwed at this truth that had been revealed. "Yaoi is strange at first, but it is fun to write. And let's not forget that the explicit scenes are way more funner to write."

The camera man stroked his imaginary beard thoughtfully at Kurenai's comments on the yaoi subject. "Personally, I think that the Yuri sex scenes are more funner to write and read. One time, I read this fanfiction involving a gender-bend Naruto and gender-bend Sasuke having se-"

Promptly, a furiously blushing Naruto grabbed the camera man by the back of his shirt and quickly dragged him out of the trailer with him. Kurenai just watched with much amusement the entire time, as she was certain the yaoi and yuri fans tuning in were pleased and because she got an inspiration to write Naruto and the camera guy in an abusive relationship.

_. . . . ._

**Please Stand By**

"Naruto should be meeting me soon to SPEED INTERVIEW me..." Yamato murmured to mostly himself as he glanced at this watch that he never knew was there on his wrist.

As Yamato leaned against one of the very realistic trees on the indoor set of the training fields in Konoha, a camera guy that Naruto had paid, whom was also the one that had gotten mind-raped by Pein, walked up to the man and randomly shoved his camera at him and awaiting him to get the implications and say something into the camera.

Good thing Yamato was an observant man. He noticed the other dude right away. But then again, how could he not when there was this camera positioned on him and this was making good mild fanservice for his female fans. "Oh, it's this again...alright...my name is Yamato, and I'm unlucky."

The random camera dude cocked his head to the side. "Why are you unlucky?"

"Because I've been waiting three and a half hours for Naruto to SPEED INTERVIEW me, couldn't get a damn cup of coffee anywhere, the last script I had just up and disappeared before I could view it good, and Sai informed me that he thinks he will speak with the main creator about making him the main character."

"Oh..."

_. . . . ._

**Later After Leaving Kurenai's Trailor with Naruto and Co.**

"Which of the famous jounin will we be SPEED INTERVIEWING next?"

"Don't talk, you kill the illusion. Hmm...ah...oh! Guy!"

"You mean the weird exaggerated dude in the spandex?"

"Guy isn't 'weird', he's epic-ness with a side of win! Remember that, and you fans watching remember that too!"

So after this little random exchange, off went Naruto and the camera man to search the streets of Konoha for Guy. It proved to be a little bit of a challenge, as they didn't have the slightest clue where they would find the man. They literally looked everywhere: including trashcans and up an old lady's kimono. But they still found no trace of him!

"Guy has to be somewhere, dammit! He's too epic to be left out of this interview!" Naruto finally groaned and flopped down onto this very random bench on the set of Konoha. "If we don't find 'em soon, we will probably be close to running out of film and then this whole SPEED INTERVIEW thing would have all been for nothing. I HATE disappointing the lovely fans!"

"You aren't the only one." The camera man offered a warm smile as he positioned the camera back on Naruto."

"DON'T TALK."

"Right..."

Giving the now-talkative camera man a glare (dammit, that guy was supposed to be just some random minor character, Naruto briefly said in the back of his thoughts), he released a very long and tired sigh before grabbing the camera and turning it back to him.

"Sorry everyone, but it looks like Guy isn't here-"

"WHO ISN'T HERE?"

Naruto and the camera man both flinched and turned around with the camera, all of the color draining from their faces as they were in a state of shock from the epic-ness that is Guy, appearing from seemingly nowhere in a whirlwind of leaves.

"That...was...GREAT!" Naruto said in awe, clasping his hands together and staring at the grinning Guy with sparkles dancing in his eyes. He was just that epic of a person, and his random entrance never failed to pull out a fanboy-ish side of Naruto. Oh God...why does this sound wrong? "Time to SPEED INTERVIEW Guy! Get that freaking camera positioned on 'em, my camera guy!"

Although very taken aback by the fact he was now titled as Naruto's Camera Guy (Since when did he become a part of another person's property, hmm?), the camera guy swallowed whatever pride that remained inside him and panned the camera over to the blinding awesome-ness of Guy.

"So, Guy," Naruto tried to contain his excitement, but it was such a challenge. Even if the man looked strange and so many things were revealed with that tight spandex outfit of his (no words could describe how much Naruto's Camera Man found this to be the most horrifying thing he had ever scene in his entire eighteen-and-a-half years of living), he still was a badass fighter and you can't deny that he should get more screentime with Lee, Neji, hell even Tenten! "Let the SPEED INTERVIEW begin! What's your favorite moment of the original Naruto series?"

"That would be when you beat the crap out of Neji. He really had that coming, and I have to admit that it really helped his personality!" Naruto just chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of his head, he really hoped that Neji wasn't anywhere around. Or his hoards of fangirls especially.

"And what's your favorite fight of either series?"

"Sasuke and Naruto vs Haku. Sasuke really had to be brought back down to earth by losing that battle." Just to be an ass, Naruto's Camera Man chuckled immaturely and moved the camera up and down as if nodding. If Sasuke were here, he would go Chidori on his ass because he still couldn't live down the fact that he got beat – and nearly murdered – by a crossdressing guy. That was just effed up!

"Your favorite moment of Shippuden?"

"The one filler episode of Shippuden; when Lee randomly popped up and got mixed up in your street fight with Sora, Kiba, and Chouji."

"Favorite female of the show?"

"Hmm...Anko is pretty attractive, either her or Tenten."

"I almost really agree with you there. She's got sexy brea-" Naruto's Camera Man began to send a warning signal to Naruto to shut his big mouth, by taking a free hand and and 'cutting' it across his throat. He didn't want any of the female fans watching to get offended because they were all flat-chested unlike Anko. "_Nervous cough, choke, unable-to-understand-stammers_, Y-yeah anyway...uh...so now will you do something very awesome for the cool fans that are tuning in? You always do epic things, but I'm sure they'd really appreciate to see something grand to wrap up this SPEED INTERVIEW!

"Hmm," Guy thought for a brief period of time, Naruto and His Camera Guy leaned forward, their eyes widening in childlike curiosity over how he may respond to the dare he was indirectly given. "I do know one epic thing that I could do..."

**CENSORED FOR BEING TOO UNCONTROLLABLY AWESOME THAT IT MAY DAMAGE THE EYES AND SANITY**

Naruto and Naruto's Camera Man both stared with comically huge eyes at the sight they had just witnessed. It was unbelievable! Astounding! Practically burning with rare and sheer awesome-ness! They hoped that the viewers that are tuning in are okay.

Which was their last thought before they fainted from the overwhelming awesome-ness in it's natural habitat that they had just watched with virgin eyes.

_. . . . ._

**Please Stand By**

"Naruto's been doing all of the segments lately..." Sai mentioned to a bored Ino whom was checking her hair in a mirror and preparing for a scene that the both of them were appearing in together. He glanced downward thoughtfully. "Sakura has gotten to do one, but I wish that I could take the spotlight for a change. Ino, is there any way that I could have some time in front of the camera...?"

"Well, I don't really know what to tell you." Ino sighed and walked over to the table that he sat at. She gave him a sympathetic smile as she took a seat at his side and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, which he stared at in confusion at the gesture. "The both of us have ATTEMPTED to complain to that Japanese dude that's writing the storyline for the artists and producers for the manga and anime that we should get more screentime in either. But we only failed...I don't get to be the beautiful and powerful heroine, and you don't get to be the main character who fails at first and then suddenly begins to excel among everyone else that's then eating your dust."

Sai opened his mouth to make a comment about the concept of eating someone's dust, but the blonde-haired actress/ninja went on with another comment, "But if we were the main characters...that would be so cool!"

"I could be the main character whom is hated by everyone, and then is loved once my tragic and horrible backstory is revealed!" Sai said with much sudden enthusiasm about the subject.

"I could be the beautiful and powerful heroine that is detested at first for being lovesick and weak, but then is loved once I decide to do something for once and acquire monstrous strength!" Ino rambled with much enthusiasm about the thought of taking Sakura's place.

They both arose from their seats and clasped each others' hands as the background behind them turned into a flowery field with bubbles being all 'ding! Sparkle sparkle!' behind them.

"I would be so loved by everyone!"

"I would have such a controversy following me!"

"We would become friends after our power-whore 'friend' betrays us!"

"Then we will become love interests in the second series! We would make the most cutest couple ever!"

"...Really? Maybe I should rethink things a little bit..."

_. . . . ._

**Naruto And Co.**

"Okay, you awesome fans tuning in, now we're about to wrap up the SPEED INTERVIEW with a final interview by Kakashi." Naruto mentioned to into the camera panning from the door to Kakashi's dressing room and then back to Naruto. "We'll somehow find a way to make another interesting segment, but right now, let's end this one with a BANG and leave the past behind us!"

Naruto turned to knock on the door, however, it suddenly flung open and smacked him in the face. Naruto's Camera Guy stared with widening eyes as the main character collapsed backward to the floor with spiny-eyes and babbling nonsense.

"Hmm? Naruto?" Kakashi looked down at the crumpled heap of the titular character and shook his head. "Sorry about that, I didn't know I was going to be getting anymore visits by some of my ex-students or your camera man." The camera man seemed to go through several emotions in only a few seconds: first angry by the fact even Kakashi titled him as a part of Naruto's property, scared because he knew they would be running out of useable film soon (old cameras for the win!), and then humiliated as he recalled their last encounter with the sexy Girl's Love novel.

Geez, that guy really needed some mental help. Oh, but this doesn't matter at all to the current events that's happening behind the scenes of the show. Realizing this, Naruto popped up from the floor and laughed nervously as he meet the striking gaze of Kakashi.

"So, what brings you here?"

"SPEED INTERVIEWING the Jounin, duh! To wrap things up with, in the words of Deidara, a BANG: we will interview the coolest and most kick-ass character in his show besides ME!" Naruto winked into the camera, either making his fangirls swoon or laugh because it was true that Kakashi was a poplar character especially in the polls.

Despite annoyed, Kakashi nodded with every word and decided that it would be very hilarious for him to lead them on. Seeing as though Naruto and His Camera Guy were both staring in a child-like manner and waiting for his answer in the most degrading manner possible. "That sounds reasonable. Let the interview begin."

"Awesome!" Naruto slipped over to Kakashi's side, making sure that Naruto's Camera Guy had the camera placed perfectly on them and adding special affects like fake wind to blow their hair and provide the fanservice by making them look sexy. "LET THE SPEED INTERVIEW BEGIN~! Okay, Kakashi, what's your favorite moment of either series?"

"It would have to be...when I attempted to do something about Sasuke's curse mark he got from Orochimaru. Because I really looked badass in that scene and we all know it." Naruto and His Camera Man had to nod in agreement, Kakashi really did look badass and all of the fangirls that weren't having flooding nosebleeds from a shirtless Sasuke were having fangirl seizures and drowning in their own nosebleeds from how hot Kakashi looked. But, of course, we must not forget that Kakashi always looks sexy and that is one of the few truths in this world of ours.

"Favorite song of the soundtrack?"

"Heavy Violence."

"Favorite female character?"

"Haku."

Naruto and his Camera Man exchanged bewildered glances. Before stammering out in perfect sync, "B-b-b-b-b-b-but you said it yourself that Haku was a GUY!"

Kakashi was smirking in amusement underneath the mask, but no one say this as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Did I...?"

Naruto slapped the crap out of his own face and then went on to wave his hands back and forth frantically. "JUST FORGET HAKU'S TRUE SEX! MOVING ON! MOVING ON! Kakashi, what is one thing that you really, really, really like about yourself?"

"I have a big kunai."

That one sentence alone was really taken the WRONG way by Naruto and Naruto's Camera Guy. The two stared back at each other in confusion and shock. While Kakashi found himself amused once again by the responses.

"A big...WHAT?" Naruto's Camera Guy asked, his face begging to turn quite the interesting shade of red. He was such a closet pervert apparently, evident by the way that he hastily wiped a way a drop of blood from his nose. This guy must be bi...

"K-u-n-a-i."

"We heard you the first time..." Babbled Naruto, as he registered this new piece of information in his head. He looked uneasily into the camera for a brief moment before turning back to Kakashi. "But, ah, we need some proof that it really is that big enough for sadistic pleasure."

"We...we do...?" Stuttered Naruto's Camera Man, the blush across his face now turning impossibly crimson. Geez, he was reacting like an aroused thirteen year old girl, everyone noted.

"I could show you." That was when Naruto's Camera Man all but fell down to the floor and clasped his hands to his nose. Naruto and Kakashi tilted their heads to get a close look at him with sweatdrops appearing on their heads as if they were currently inside of some popular manga associated with Shounen Jump. (Pfffff- YEAH RIGHT.)

Naruto forgot His Camera Guy once the radiating blush on his face cooled and he jumped back to his feet and gained his composure back. "You should show us then. Because I'm SURE that your fangirls tuning in are dying to find out the answer and are probably totally turned on by what they're hearing! I'm curious myself!"

Kakashi turned to his dressing room and unlocked the door. He was sooo glad that his mask was well concealing the look of amusement on his face. "Then let's wrap up the speed interview-"

Naruto suddenly gasped dramatically. "WAIT...! YOU HAVE TO SAY 'SPEED INTERVIEW' IN ALL COUNTS TO GIVE MORE OF AN IMPACT...!"

"Okay? Ahem, let's wrap up this 'SPEED INTERVIEW' with the revelation of just how big my kunai happens to be and just what damage it can cause."

"Great!"

Naruto's Camera Guy just stared mouth agape as Naruto and Kakashi went into the dressing room and closed the door behind them. When regaining his awareness of reality, he broke the forth wall and turned the camera to him so that he could give the viewers a very nervous and wary look.

It was when a little banging and clattering from the inside was heard, did Naruto's Camera Guy blush furiously and his eyes near pop out of their sockets. Kakashi and Naruto could be heard panting and the latter was whooping with his usual enthusiasm. "OH. MY. GOD. IT'S FREAKING HUGE...! I THINK I'M ACTUALLY BLEEDING FROM THE IMPACT!"

Now utterly disturbed, Naruto's Camera Guy just passed out and hit the floor, leaving the camera to stare at the dressing room door and the horny viewers tuning in to hear all of the unfortunate implications from outside.

At long last, Asuma walked into the scene, took a listen at what was going on inside the dressing room, and a sweatdrop appeared on his head as he grabbed the camera and positioned it on him. He didn't notice the passed out Naruto's Camera Man on the floor with a face as red as a beet.

"I hate to spoil the unfortunate implications going on inside...but Kakashi and Naruto are actually having a sparring match in there to test the former's LITERAL big kunai out. And I can see that the film on this thing is just about used entirely and Naruto's Camera Man is passed out and still deeply aroused from the implications." Asuma paused to sigh, he never had, never does, and never will understand the Boy's Love fans. Or whether Naruto's Camera Guy was gay or just bi. "Thank you all for tuning into this special behind the scenes look of the show. We love you all for the support and huge fanbase and hope to keep things this way. After I wake up Naruto's Camera Guy and we add some more film, you'll have another little segment I'm plotting that you may enjoy..."

The last thing seen was Asuma smiling and waving before the screen fading to black from lack of film.

**Continued.**

_. . . . . _

**Let us rejoice! I finally decided to finish the next chapter after this long break! ~MidnightSakurablossom18**

8DDD I, for one, am so glad that you did! This story is so epic and I'm thrilled to have been able to help give you ideas for this chapter when you were stuck. It was, um, MY idea to make Asuma appear at the end to wrap things up *is a huge Asuma fan* and I also hinted the idea to have one of the filler...stand by moments...whatever involve Itachi losing the bet with Deidara and Red Bull. Which makes it funnier for meh because I am drinking Red Bull as I am typing this. ~StormofyourDestiny

**Too bad you fail at multi-tasking, Mandy. Ah...don't take that personally though! ^^' ~MidnightSakuraBlossom18**

No offense taken. |D Well anyways, we hope that you liked the special chapter that we worked on together. It would really be appreciated if he could get some reviews because I. WORKED. MY. ARSE. OFF. (**O.O No need to snap tat them, Mandy. ~MidnightSakuraBlossom18) **Oh, I'm just messing with them! But seriously though, thank you for bothering to read this...epic-ness! ~StormofyourDestiny

**Now let me clear something up for everyone, if you don't mind StormofyourDestiny. I can't really say that the next update for this story will come soon. If it ever does. Truth be told, I'm not very sure if I still am interested in finishing it out. The updating status for this story will be irregular for a while...I'll mostly update once feeling like it I guess. ~MidnightSakuraBlossom18**

*Gapes at MidnightSakuraBlossom18* ~StormofyourDestiny

**Anyway, please read and review! They're really appreciated during these tough times nowdays! ~MidnightSakuraBlossom18**


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